Streight Site Systems

Transference of Readership to My Other Blogs

2005-04-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

inactive artifact, like the Cluetrain site

While I will post something here at Streight Site Systems now and then, maybe, I encourage all my readers and feed subscribers to consider moving over to Blog Core Values:

http://www.blogcorevalues.blogspot.com

I am pretty much abandoning:

* web usability analysis (for clients)

* mentally correct marketing (theory and client implementations)

To pursue:

* advanced blogology based on Derrida's deconstruction philosophy

* science fiction micro story writing (Cosmos Blogmos)

* writing books on computer, blog, future tech, and web usability topics

My broken back (lower spine), my frozen shoulder, and my totally disrupted sleep patterns, have forced me to slow down a bit.

I can no longer maintain 5 or 6 blogs, service multiple clients, do volunteer web development work, write computer books, and work on all the other projects I have begun.

Something has to give.

So this blog will be frozen in cyberspace, at least for a while.

Similar to the Cluetrain Manifesto site:

http://www.cluetrain.com

My focus is now narrowed to:

(1.) Vaspers the Grate

(2.) Blog Core Values

(3.) Art Test Explosion

(4.) Cosmos Blogmos

(5.) hopefully, the new Interplanetary Internet of NASA (I recently applied for membership in InterPlaNet Society and discussion list)

(6.) several books I am writing, including a collection of science fiction micro stories, inspired and encouraged by John C. Dvorak.

The principles of Mentally Correct Marketing will live on in BLOGthenticity and Vaspers the Grate, but this blog will be infrequently updated.

Explore the archives.

There may be some valuable treasures in it for you.

But go to my other blogs for my latest adventures, theories, and implementation advice.

Contact me at email address provided here if I can be of assistance to you in any way, or if you have any comments.

Thanks dear friends and fans.

I do it ALL for YOU.

[signed] Steven Streight aka Vaspers the Grate

Vile Comment Spammers: You're Dead

2005-04-12T04:49:00.000-07:00

for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal

To comment on my blog posts, I ask that you email me your comments, at the address displayed on this blog.

Comments on all my blogs (Vaspers the Grate, Streight Site Systems, Art Test Explosion, Cosmos Blogmos, etc.) have been temporarily turned off effective today, to deal with a comment spam attack.

This attack against my blogs, and their interactive mechanisms for user-generated content, will not succeed--and I shall retaliate.

The attackers don't know what weapons I have at my disposal, but they're about to find out.

I have never experienced any problem with comment spam on any of my sites until a few days ago.

Being disabled, I don't get out much and I don't sleep much.

Which means I'm guarding and working on my blogs constantly, round the clock. There is no good time for a comment spammer to try to launch an attack against me.

I'm vigilant and diligent in removing comment spam from my blogs, to prevent an unwary user from linking to a malicious site.

And I'm attentive and tireless in alerting my allies to comment spam attacks on their blogs.

DEFINITION of COMMENT SPAM: Comment Spam is a human (manual) or spambot (automated) contribution to a blog's comment field, which often contains a brief, vague intro ("Love your site. Just discovered it today. Read almost the entire article. Will return later to read more. Hey, check out these sites..."), then a list of URLs (hypertext links) for sleazy, immoral, unethical, con artist, or malicious and dangerous sites.

PURPOSE of COMMENT SPAM: The purpose of comment spam is to drive traffic to these sites to sell dubious or non-existent products, and/or to attach spyware to your computer, or cause damage to your computer's files or hard drive. It is also used to boost the ranking, and thus the visibility, of the site in various search engines results lists.

MY LIGHTNING RESPONSE: I was able to spot the comment spam on my sites, and remove it immediately, thanks to some detection controls built into my bloggery boles working in conjunction with an email alert system. But I've decided to firewall the comments for a while to save me even more time and trouble, during this busy period for me.

I don't blame them for having hostile intent, since I have not downplayed or disguised my all out warfare against them.

I have proposed, sponsored, and enacted various initiatives to expose, disrupt, and harm comment spammers.

Ironically, my most popular post on Vaspers the Grate, and the one that got picked by the blogosphere more extensively than any other, was "Comment Spammers: Internet Pigs and How They Feed," which blogger Amy Gahran called a "brilliant manifesto," and she included it in her email newsletter.

ATTENTION: All Cyber Vandal Comment Spammers: Here's a cryptic hint for you to sleuth. Do not look into laser with remaining eye!

Vasperization and Mentally Correct Marketing continues unabated.

[signed]

Steven Streight aka Vaspers the Grate

heh.

Blogs That Are Unique

2005-04-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard the clueless whine, "How could a blog benefit my business? What would I do with a blog? Why do I need to consider having a blog? What would I blog about?"

The following unusual and special interest blogs prove the point: any business can use a blog. Note that these are not all business blogs. I've included blogs on philosophy, science fiction stories, cartoons, ham radio, free expression rights, biology, art, bird watching, etc.

I don't endorse every blog listed, nor do I approve of every aspect of them. Some may even deviate in some ways from usability and blogology guidelines.

These blogs are simply here to serve as examples of adventurous blogging in unexpected terrain. It's my hope that this interesting variety of blogs will inspire you.

Just take a few moments to visit them and see what you think, see how they're using a blog for their specific purposes. It could be very eye-opening and in some cases (e.g., The Home Depot Bet Blog), rather amusing.

Unusual Blogs: Examples of Innovation

Kurzweil Accelerating Intelligence
http://www.kurzweilai.net

10,000 Birds
http://www.10000birds.com

World's Dullest Blog
http://www.wibsite.com/wiblog/dull

Cigars in the Sand
http://cigarsinthesand.blogspot.com

Drug War Rant
http://blogs.salon.com/0002762

A Police Chief's Weblog: Chief Dan Carlson
http://edenprairieweblogs.org/
html/dan_carlson.html

A Fire Chief's Blog: Chief George Esbensen
http://edenprairieweblogs.org/
html/george_esbensen.html

The Blog from City Hall: City Manager Scott Neal
http://edenprairieweblogs.org/
html/scott_neal.html

Ad Rants
http://www.adrants.com

Glutter
http://glutter.typepad.com

A Seismology Log
http://seislog.blogs.com/seislog

Real Climate
http://realclimate.org

Boing Boing
http://www.boingboing.net

ePhilosopher
http://www.ephilosopher.com

Wo's Weblog
http://umsu.de/wo/

Log Blog
http://www.ucalgary.ca/~rzach/logblog/

A Gag Reflex
http://www.agagreflex.blogspot.com

The Home Depot Bet Blog
http://typicalcrap.net/home_depot/
hdlog.shtml

Pesky the Rat
http://www.mackerelstreet.com/
pesky/pesky.html

Lambda the Ultimate
http://lambda-the-ultimate.org

ScrappleFace
http://www.scrappleface.com

The Rambler Musicology
http://johnsons-rambler.blogspot.com

SIMPLICITY
http://weblogs.media.mit.edu/
SIMPLICITY/

Epistemic Frontiers Project
http://www.openefp.com/frontiers

Milo Vermeulen Photoblog
http://milov.nl

Fides Quaerens Intellectum
http://blog.johndepoe.com

AKMA Disseminary
http://akma.disseminary.org

Glowlab
http://glowlab.blogs.com/news

Global Multimedia Protocols Group
http://gmpg.org

Pharyngula
http://pharyngula.com

Catalogablog
http://catalogablog.blogspot.com

Bag and Baggage
http://bgbg.blogspot.com

Green Cine Daily
http://daily.greencine.com

The Red Couch
http://redcouch.typepad.com

Cosmos Blogmos
http://www.cosmosblogmos.blogspot.com

Art Test Explosion
http://www.arttestexplosion.blogspot.com

KB6NU's Ham Radio Blog
http://www.blurty.com/~kb6nu

Jerz Literacy Blog
http://jerz.setonhill.edu/
weblog/index.jsp

Simon Waldman/Guardian Newspaper
http://www.simonwaldman.net

futuristicky
http://electricgirl.blogspot.com

I hope you enjoyed checking out these blogs. Perhaps you discovered a few to bookmark as favorites. Maybe you even have decided to write a post about one on your own blog.

Come up with your own list of Unique Blogs and email it to me.

[Comments on all my blogs have been temporarily turned off effective today, to deal with a comment spam attack.

This attack against my blogs will not succeed--and I will retaliate.

The attackers don't know what weapons I have at my disposal, but they're about to find out soon.

WARNING to All Cyber Vandal Comment Spammers: I strongly suggest you refrain from looking into laser with remaining eye!]

[signed] Steven Streight
aka Vaspers the Grate

Writing and Technology: A Student Interview with Steven Streight

2005-03-26T11:13:00.000-08:00

"Three KLCC airport (Malaysia) robots" - photo manipulation by S. Streight, original photo of single robot, by Messy Christian.

A senior student at Arizona State University, majoring in Technical Communications, contacted me today via email.

He said that his assignment in a course was to contact a marketing professional.

He had read my article "Slogan Slogging" in the TC EServer data base, went to this blog, read my bio, and decided to contact me.

Here is the email survey and my responses...

Writing and Technology:
A Student Interview
with Steven Streight

In your direct marketing career, what kind of tasks did you/do you perform on a daily basis?

STEVEN STREIGHT: I began as an Account Representative at a pioneering direct marketing company, Ruppman Marketing Services, Peoria, Illinois, which was started by guys from IBM and Donnelly Yellow Pages.

The company was low profile, but all the big corporations (General Motors, Sony, State Farm Insurance, Caterpillar, Hitachi, Panasonic, Sears, Lennox, Department of Defense, etc.) used their services in yellow pages advertising, inbound telemarketing technical helpdesk customer service, data warehousing, direct mail campaigns, product literature distribution.

I had approached the company with a portfolio of short stories, reports, dummy ads, a ridiculous hodge podge of "writing samples" and was merely interested in learning what they did. The "exploratory interview" (as opposed to "employment interview").

They liked my zeal, my thinking, my personality, my shoes, whatever, and they offered me a job. I wasn't even finished with college. I never did finish. My career took off during my junior year at college.

Since then, too busy to complete university work, and no regrets. I create my own credentials through my work and prestigious clients.

Well, I found that I was okay with "schmoozing" clients at fancy restaurants, but not liking sports, and having bizarre interests (surreal French fiction, underground electronic music, avant garde films, science fiction), I was limited in potential as a "good old boy" account rep.

But--voila! (er, Eureka!)--I was best at writing and marketing strategy.

So I moved onto other firms in the field of advertising copywriter.

Today I'm a web usability analyst and blogologist, but the core of everything I do, and the cause of success, is super strong writing skills, coupled with intense fascination with psychology and marketing concepts.

As a direct marketing copywriter, I've promoted Crafts, Shooting Times, Rotor & Wing, Profitable Craft Merchandising magazine subscriptions, Troy-Bilt tillers, Doubleday (including their mystery and science fiction bookclubs), General Motors, Pepsi, American Express, Chemical Bank, Wall Street Transcript, dental supplies, Governor Cuomo's loaned executive program, Scholastic magazines, wood burning stoves, chamber music ensembles, greenhouses, and Pantone color selection products.

My responsibilities included:

* meeting with clients to understand what they want to achieve with the marketing, meeting again to show them alternative ideas (never present just one or two options, show several, but emphasize what you most believe in).

* talk to the engineers to discover facts about the products.

* research competitor products and their marketing campaigns, ads, commercials, direct mail, etc.

* focus group sessions with prospects or with customers.

* home visits to customers to gather testimonials and listen to complaints, suggestions, and questions.

* interacting with the art department, making "writer's rough" sketches of brochure or ad design, then workting with artists on the real design: they often considered the copy to be just another "graphic element", didn't even pay much attention to the words, even of headlines, just slapped it on the layout. This had to be remedied. But I loved working with artists and designers, as I also create digital art at my Art Test Explosion art gallery blog.

* sometimes even visiting the production shop to see how material is printed and packaged for distribution.

* studying books on direct marketing, advertising, technical writing, and whatever field my clients were in (gardening, magazine publishing, whatever).

* knowing enough about office politics to not fall into traps or play the game poorly (worst part of job, I was not too good at it, I didn't see how stupid or mediocre people could defeat me in gossip or other political ways).

* read great classic or modern literature, great--not trendy trash, to keep my overall writing level high (this was a requirement I imposed on myself).

* study great classic and modern art to stay sharp about design concepts (another self-imposed duty), plus works on the creative process, innovators, new ideas in various realms.

Although I was a direct marketing writer, a lot of it was highly technical, especially the Troy-Bilt tillers and other gardening machinery products of Garden Way Manufacturing Company.

Also, I wrote brochures for Caterpillar's usability testing lab and multimedia training programs.

So in these cases, I had to understand and use technical terminology, yet in a way that customers would understand and be able to see the clear benefits of the products or services being promoted.

Daily tasks were largely: talking to clients, doing research, writing, and interacting with art department.

Mostly writing, writing, writing. I loved it.

Daily tasks now are more: studying the top ranked blogs of all types, studying marketing blogs, learning web design and development, researching various topics to then write about them in my own blogs and in books I'm preparing for publishing, occasional writing of online articles for other online magazines or newsletters, meeting with clients, reading books on sales, marketing (Seth Godin and Al Ries especially), psychology, classic literature, art. Mostly the same as when I was a direct marketing writer, just new tech fields now, such as blogging and webs.

What kind of skills are involved? Software skills?
Writing skills?

STEVEN STREIGHT: As a copywriter and tech writer, I had to have typing skills and word processing expertise.

(Actually I began by writing copy with pen and handing it to a secretary to type up on an IBM Selectric, then a "memory typewriter", then I advanced to skipping the secretary and composing on my own Macintosh).

I had to have good interpersonal ("people") skills, good personality, get along with all types of moody, arrogant, lazy, workaholic, mediocre, genius, etc. people.

I had to have tremendous self-motivation and self-confidence, especially when presenting marketing strategy and copy to the creative staff and the clients.

I had to have some skill in understanding scientific, technical thinking, and in sales psychology.

I think a tech or marcom writer should excel in everything, or at least try, including poetry, novels, magazine articles, press releases, owner's guides, screenplays, radio and television commercials, technical manuals, catalogs, newsletters, personal journals, email, blogging, all forms of writing.

Some you'll do better at, and enjoy more, than others. But at least be familiar with the basics of all.

You make yourself more valuable. You don't want to say "I've never done that" when a boss asks if you can help out or if you can tackle some new aspect of the job, like for a new client.

Force yourself to master, as much as possible, all forms of writing.

I started as a poet and song lyricist as a teenager.

It was poetry (Rilke, Emily Dickinson, Edgar Allen Poe, Longfellow, Wordsworth, Wallace Stevens, William Carlos Williams, Auden, Bill Knott, Arthur Rimbaud, John Asbery, Kenneth Patchen, Kerouac, Sappho, Allen Ginsberg, John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen, Horace, all the modern poets and some ancient poets) that prepared me for technical and advertising writing.

Another big influence is Marcel Proust, though his writing style is almost the very opposite of effective advertising, email, web site, blog writing. I guess I enjoy reading Proust as a change of pace. Long-winded sentences that may fill an entire page, obsessively minute details of flowers and personalities, frequent use of analogy to amplify descriptions of characters.

Learn as many computer skills as you can. Know about web services, wireless networks, VOIP, online virtual musical instruments, podcasting, email marketing techniques, online community software, image file formats, JPEG optimizations, all the stuff coming down the pipeline into the working world and the art circles.

Did you work in a team environment? What are your
thoughts on teaming?

STEVEN STREIGHT: I'm an average team player, I admit. I'm not a star
team player. I have trouble keeping my thoughts to myself, though I try to be diplomatic and sensitive to others.

I have a strong "do it myself, to do it right" streak in me. I hate to hand over projects to others. Not that I'm vain or possessive, I just know a lot about art and design and marketing and sales, so I try to have some control or input in all aspects, even the paper and the ink that is used.

I'm a good teamplayer in the sense that I truly believe in helping the employer or client succeed.

I'm not a sandbagger who just wants to do the bare minimum and get a paycheck. And I enjoy working with other people, as long as they are high caliber professionals or at least willing to learn. Mediocre, immature, mind-gamers I can't stand and can't work with very well.

Get the book "How To Work for a Jerk" by Robert M. Hochheiser (Vintage, 1987). I think there is a recent title that's similar and it may be good also. But this book is filled with anecdotes and practical tips on dealing with difficult bosses and employees. One of the best business books I've ever read. Sheer genius.

Like: if your boss keeps complaining, unjustly, about your writing ability.

The author, Hochheiser, began teaching a course on technical writing at a local prestigious university.

Next time boss complained, "This ad is poorly written, and you better improve it. Your writing skills are not all that good.", he just said, "That's not what Columbia University thinks. They hired me to teach a class on technical writing for graduate students."

He pulled out a sheet of paper displaying the course description, with his name as the instructor. "Now, what specificially do you not like about that ad?"

The boss mumbled a few dumb, incoherent things and walked away, never to trouble him again on that matter.

What kind of computer software did you work with back in the early days of your career in direct marketing?

(This is not part of my assignment, just a personal
question. I have always had an almost perverse
interest in the early days of computers and graphic
design.)

STEVEN STREIGHT: From pen to IBM selectric to IBM "memory typewriter" to Apple Macintosh to IBM desktop computer.

I loved the Mac, hated the IBM. This was around 1983. The Mac had the mouse and clicking, whereas the IBM was all keyboard commands you had to memorize. I still avoid keyboard commands, though I could probably use them in composing email, for bold or other stuff.

I remember how in 1978, Ruppman Marketing Services in Peoria, IL used microfiche a little bit, and also had a "mainframe" that used big reels of tape and punchcards. That's when "floppy discs" were really floppy, flexible plastic discs.

They refered to their mainframe as "FRED" the frigging ridiculous electronic device.

An older VP used to complain that PCs will never be a revolution, because nobody can figure out what the heck to do with a home computer.

The story back in 1978 was you could use a home computer to organize your shopping lists, to inventory your groceries, to send out invitations to parties. Huh?

It turned out to be Communication (email, online shopping, financial transactions, and blogging) that was the killer app for home computers, plus file sharing (photos, music, films).

First: computer. Second: home/office work station computer. Third: internet. Fourth: web. Fifth: blogs.

Next (my best guess today): wearable computers, "glogs", bio/info/nano applications, the internet as a unified assembly of seamless web services, wireless wonders, embedded computers, computerized lifestyle and environment, influencing the external world via home and wearable computers (negative example: virtual hunting, where you kill a real deer in Colorado while operating a home PC in Taiwan).

Stop Putting Personal Details in Your Blog

2005-03-15T22:47:00.000-08:00

keep personal details out of your blog

Extreme distress was caused by my post "You Are Not A Blog", in my Vaspers the Grate blog.

In this post, I cautioned bloggers against putting personal details into a blog, especially a business blog.

I have now written a sequel. Since this topic is so important and urgent, I have reproduced the "Dangers of Personal Blogging" post at my Vaspers the Grate blog. Here is what I need to tell you...

Vaspers the Grate on
"Dangers of Personal Blogging"

Hype machines are spewing forth how every individual and every organization must start a blog.

I agree. In fact, I have called blogs the mandatory interactive business cards of the 21st Century.

Blogs can, theoretically, provide a competitive edge to a company, when the blog is done right. (However, if done wrong, a blog can cause massive damage to a company.)

I've sung the praises of blogs ever since I gave Blogger a try and fell in love with it. I have aggressively promoted blogs to clients, friends, pastors, entrepreneurs, military organizations, you name it.

I wrote a post called "Blogging is Good For You." Writing daily or weekly blog entries can improve your writing and thinking skills. I like blogging as an activity.

I've described how blogs are helping to kill the evil monsters of Main Stream Media: "For Whom the Blog Tolls: Death of the MSM".

But now it's time for a word of caution, a warning.

Now it's time to explain the Dark Side of Blogging.

My preliminary research has provided me with three primary dangers of personal blogging. There are bound to be more hazards out there, but the big three are as follows...

3 Big Dangers of Personal Blogging

(1.) Alienating Employers

Seth Godin has recently published a post entitled "Blogging doesn't matter":

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/
2005/03/blogging_doesnt.html

In Seth's post, he provides a link to the article "Ten Reasons Why Blogging Doesn't Matter" by Rui Carmo at Tao of Mac blog. Rui's post is a point by point commentary on "Ten Reasons Why Blogging Is Good For Your Career" by Tim Bray.

http://the.taoofmac.com/space/blog/2005-03-12

Rui discusses how a blog can hurt your chances for employment or promotion.

Here are some nice quotes to ponder:

"...organizations...will always promote the quiet, reliable guy over the noisy troublemaker, even if (s)he is merely outspoken."

"Getting noticed by having strong opinions is more likely to label you as a prima donna even before you step into a meeting room, be it for interviews or for decision-making."

"Valuable people are noticeable because they get things done, not because they make noises about what they're doing..."

"...most of the time what you've written about is not what they are looking for when they're evaluating you either as a prospective hire or for a promotion."

"...this hysteria about corporate blogs and blogging in business settings seems to be almost completely US-centric..."

Seth Godin and others are warning bloggers about reckless blabbering, grammar and punctuation errors, ill-conceived topics, vulgar language, poorly researched articles, lack of substantiating links, and other aspects that cause your blog to make you look bad.

Remember--the personal details you dump into your blog, whether personal blog or business blog, could come back to haunt you. Don't be paranoid or excessively self-censoring, but exercise some restraint and wisdom in what you reveal about yourself.

Ask yourself: Could this glimpse into my private life be misinterpreted? Could this personal detail be distasteful to certain types of people?

Could some people take this the wrong way, read into it more than I mean to convey?

If I rave about a movie in which drugs are glamorized, would a professional person consider me a possible drug user?

I just posted a seemingly justified rant against something that annoys me. But--could this rant cause others to see me as a potentially violent, unstable, immature person who cannot control his temper?

(2.) Attracting Stalkers

"...any personal information on the internet is going to be abused. When it comes to posting on the internet, it's like using heavy machinery. Make sure you have your wits about you."
Parry Aftab, NYC lawyer and Executive Director of WiredSafety.org
(Quoted in www.jacksonville.com)

"My advice to new bloggers is to be careful what you share. It can be dangerous."
Robyn Pollman
http://www.tampatantrum.com/originalindex.html
(Quoted in www.jacksonville.com)

There are stories of stalkers seeking blogs of local people, perverts and child molesters seeking photos of children to kidnap, harm and kill, and many other tragic consequences of posting personal information in blogs.

Are you a mom? Do you have a blog? Do you talk about your children in your blog? Most moms probably do. Do you post photos of your children? Do you tell their ages? Do you describe the toys and movies and restaurants they like? Have you revealed what school or daycare center or church they attend?

Are you crazy? You're giving child molesters and older males who prey on teenage girls exactly what they're looking for. You're practically handing your children over to them.

You need to read this eye-opening article about the dangers of personal blogging:

"Risks abound in online journals, some turn to password protection"
by Ron Word, Associated Press Writer
http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/
apnews/stories/081003/D7SR4Q3O0.html
(Not sure if it's oh zero, oh oh, or zero zero, dot html)

One woman mentioned she had a miscarriage, and then shuddered in horror as weird freaks made fun of her, and even saw this intimate revelation discussed on other web sites and blogs.

A woman who used her blog to express political opinions also disclosed what restaurant she was going to check out one night. When she arrived at the restaurant, she was confronted by angry blog readers who disagreed with her politics and wanted to hurt or harass her.

You have no idea who is reading all your personal details, nor what they intend to do with that private information. The consequences could be far different from what you expect.

You're nice and normal. You may think the blogosphere is populated with decent, ordinary people. You can't begin to fathom how evil, mentally sick, and horrible some blog readers can be.

Some personal diary bloggers have shut down their blogs and created password protected digital journals that only friends and family can access.

For example...

FORMER PERSONAL BLOG:
Ain't Too Proud to Blog
http://www.tampatantrum.com/originalindex.html

NEW PASSWORD JOURNAL:
Sooner-Born.Com
http://www.sooner-born.com

(3.) Enabling Identity Theft

Any personal details you provide on your blog can help an identity thief to assume your identity and ruin you financially, or worse.

Identity theft criminals go through garbage cans and dumpsters. What makes you think they won't comb through your blog, looking for what city you live in, what company you work for, what bank you happen to mention in passing (perhaps a complaint or a compliment), what church you attend, what companies you do business with...anything that can lead to eventually gaining sensitive private and financial information.

What details are you providing on your blog that could be used by identity thieves?

NEGATIVE ASPECTS
of Personal Details
in Blogs:

(1.) Personal details are often interesting only to you. To others, these facts are usually boring, trivial, trite. They can make readers think less of you as a person.

(2.) Personal details are usually irrelevant to the main purpose of your blog, especially a business, marketing, academic, or other serious topic blog.

(3.) Personal details can alienate an employer, who just doesn't like or agree with specific opinions, attitudes, or habits that you reveal.

(4.) Personal details can be easily misinterpreted and used against you. People may "read between the lines" or otherwise inflate what you reveal and blow things out of proportion.

(5.) Personal details about your family can lead to endangering family members.

(6.) Personal details, from a teenage girl for example, can entice male perverts and kidnappers to try to seduce the young female blogger into meeting them in some dark part of town.

(7.) Personal details about your lifestyle, habits, and haunts can be used by stalkers who don't like the opinions expressed on your blog, and wish to harm you physically.

(8.) Personal details can make you an easy target for identity theft.

Spammy Subject Lines in Email

2005-03-11T19:32:00.000-08:00

*****

If you send email to those who may not know who you are, you need to avoid putting certain words and phrases in your Subject: lines.

Spam filters block email messages that have certain words in the Subject: line, and human recipients may consider any Subject: line with these words in it to be spam, virus, or phishing emails.

Here are some words to avoid using:

* Please reply to my email

* Please respond

* Final warning

* Update your account information

* RE: your account

* Pre-approved application

* Hi

* Hello

* We need your update information

* Free

* Act now

* RE: your code # [number]

* Tired of paying high costs for your medications?

* Did you receive my email of last week?

* Thank you for your attention

* Rate approval

* Lowest rates [prices, cost, etc.]

* Security update

* Security warning

* Full length adult DVDs

* Downloads

* Your application has been approved

* cheap meds

* pharmaceutical

* enhance

* enlarge

* software

Even if your message is non-commercial, sincere, requested by a customer, still--avoid these words at all costs.

Think of some other words and phrases to use in your Subject: lines and in the first sentence of your message. Some email clients display the Subject: line and the first several words of the first sentence, prior to the recipient opening the email.

Another ignorant tactic of spammers is to put my email address in the To: line, instead of my name. This is a dead giveaway that the email is spam, or worse.

Remember: when you open a spam email message, simply out of stupidity or curiosity, you have sent a signal to the spammer that your email address is valid and active. Then the spammer will send you more spam and will also sell a list with your email address on it to other spammers.

You may greatly increase the amount of spam that is sent to you, just by opening a spam email message.

Fight back.

Delete all email that looks strange, unprofessional, amateur, or like it's trying to trick you into revealing sensitive personal or financial information.

Never give your email address to your bank, insurance company, hospital, etc. That way, if you receive an email from such a sender, you'll know it has to be fake (phishing).

Serial Killer Detection via Mentally Correct Perception

2005-03-02T01:45:00.000-08:00

Behold and See.

Here we go again.

Another suspected serial killer is taken into custody, and the familiar chorus rings in our ears.

About half of those who knew the BTK killer suspect say he was a nice, normal, stable, job-holding guy...

...a family man and church leader...

...with all the trappings of the achievement of the "American Dream".

The other half claim he was creepy, a bully, and did suspicious things, like videotaping the back of a person's house while her husband was on a business trip.

Or "acting weird" in the Cub Scout pack, so that a mother removed her boy from it.

I side with this second group. I side with the skeptics.

I have always maintained that, from a Mentally Correct Marketing viewpoint, there is no such thing as the "Separation of Surface and State."

What I mean is, the truth about a company, a nation, or an individual always leaks out, somewhere, somehow.

I believe that a rotten company (morally corrupt leadership or inferior products) will have advertising that contains subtle, if not obvious, lies, exaggerations, or stupid claims about its products.

Likewise, the evil in a person's heart cannot possibly be rigidly contained at all times. If it explodes in a rage of murder, rape, or other hideous act, it will also tend to leak out in other situations where such behaviour is not safe for the perpetrator.

A murderer will tend to be a bully, a grouch, a manipulator, in both gruff and brutal behavior and in sly, charming characteristics, which are the two ways in which victims are caught and trapped.

My point is this: many people are so lulled into comfort zones, especially in America, they have great trouble believing any neighbor or family member could be a child molester, serial killer, terrorist, or other illegal and immoral type.

People are often just mentally lazy, dreamy, living in a delusional world where everything seems just fine and everybody's "nice".

They are not sufficiently skeptical, cynical, or suspicious.

They brush aside disturbing comments or aspects of other people. They don't want to think about potentially or seemingly evil people, because then they might have to leave their comfort zone and do something about them.

I have alerted people to highly suspect potential child molesters and serial killers. Nothing is done. I am made to seem like a bad person for even stating my concerns.

The defense of the suspect is always, every single time: "But he's such a nice guy."

In the case of the almost certain child molester, I hear: "So what if his only friend is a 5 year old boy? So what if he lavishes money and attention on him, avoiding all other people? So what if he demands that the child and everyone else call him grandpa, when the child already has two real grandpas?"

Why is it that the pastors, who are supposed to have some grandiose connection to Almighty All-Knowing God, and the church people, are the dumbest of all?

Is it because it's so easy to be a church fake, to go through the rituals and pot luck suppers with a smile on your face and a hymn on your lips?

Take a look at this newspaper clip:

Detroit Free Press
"THE VICTIMS: BTK killings suspect was Jekyll and Hyde, cops say.
Churchgoing family man charged in 10 killings over 17 years."
March 2, 2005
by Sharon Cohen, Associated Press

Some described him as a friendly man who helped neighbors and recently brought spaghetti sauce and a salad to a supper at Christ Lutheran Church, where he was an usher, president of the council and a member for 30 years. "Dennis was in church as often as I was," said Pastor Michael Clark.

Others said he could be a nitpicker and a bully, always looking to cite his neighbors for petty violations, once using a tape measure to determine whether a neighbor's grass was too long.

If Rader turns out to be the BTK killer, he won't be the first serial killer to lead two lives.

"They lead a benign, if not friendly and helpful life with family and friends. Then they kill strangers," said Jack Levin, author of several books on serial killers and director of the Brudnick Center on Violence and Conflict at Northeastern University in Boston. "It's almost like the death camp doctor who goes home and plays with his children."

These two lives are "the way they survive. That's the way they're not detected," said Steve Egger, a serial killer expert and associate professor of criminology at the University of Houston-Clear Lake. "Their actions with people who love them, with people they associate with, are very natural. But they're able to split off and compartmentalize these fantasies they have. ... Then they go out and have to act on them."

Rustigan, the California criminologist, said he wonders how Rader, if he is the BTK killer, could hide a sinister life from his wife.

"You can fake 'nice guy' at work," he said. "But how do you fake 'nice guy' when you're married? That's a very powerful question in this case."

I hate all this "mystery" supposedly surrounding serial killers and their ability to assume supposedly split personalities. I don't buy it.

It's not that the serial killers are so good at hiding their evil personality.

The reason the serial killers can be two separate people, is that many dumb people don't see the serial killer lurking in the creepy bully, who is also a family man and church leader.

Consider the creepy, evil church leaders, like Jim Jones, David Koresh, Oral Roberts, and Jim Baker.

Baptist physical abusers and Catholic homosexual predators. Hare Krishna temple sexual misconduct allegations. Every type of religion and secualarism has its creeps and bullies.

Some local ministers in my home town are examples of deeply unspiritual, profoundly sinister church leaders, who are in effect, nothing but cultish dictators.

We have to ask more questions and pay more attention to those around us. Your Cub Scout leaders, your pastors, your priests, your school bus driver, your doctor, your husband, your wife, your children, everyone.

If serial killers, child molesters, and sleeper cell terrorists escape detection, in my opinion it's not their genius or brilliance.

It's our laziness, exaggerated optimism, and plain stupidity.

It's our fault, not their cleverness.

People want to believe that this is the best of all possible worlds. They don't want to really face the horrors and suffering and insanity that lurk everywhere.

Some person tonight is doing their usual routine, and will be kidnapped, tortured, and killed.

Some child is playing happily, but will soon be violated sexually and ruined for life.

Largely due to our laziness, dreaminess, and stupidity. Not entirely our fault, but we are more to blame than we like to admit.

Let's wake up.

Let's ask more questions. Let's take steps to investigate, or ask the proprer authorities to look into, some of these things that have bothered us.

I'm pursuing something today, writing letters to the directors of a certain local religious mission organization. And it involves a suspicious, possible serial killer or sexual predator.

Evil leaks out of its phony "nice guy" shell.

Watch. Behold and see.

They Destroy, They Do Not Terrify

2005-02-24T00:37:00.000-08:00

*****

LESSON IN MENTALLY CORRECT
LANGUAGE USAGE

Politics has nothing to do with it.

Marketing uses words. Even in war and insurgency, words are used. But are the words used correctly?

This is simply a critique of the word "terrorist" as applied to those who destroy, maim, and kill as a means of accomplishing their goals.

I have seen "terrorists" who were unable to stop a fledgling democracy from holding free elections. Insufficient "terror" was generated.

I have seen "terrorists" who were shocked to discover that U.S. Marines run toward shots that are fired, and not away from them.

I have seen women bravely attend school in lands where such an act by the allegedly "inferior gender" used to be punishable by death.

I have seen "terrorists" who began to kill women and children, who occupied a school building, who kidnap defenseless civilians.

I have seen "terrorists" hide behind scarves and masks, afraid to reveal their identities.

I have seen average civilians, surrounded and infested by "terrorists", stand in line to vote, and look into television cameras, with no disguises or concealment of faces.

I wonder who is truly terrified and who is simply hoping to cause terror.

This use of "terror" and "terrorist" may be very inappropriate.

We do not call someone a surgeon if they've never operated on anyone.

We do not call someone a chef if they've never cooked anything.

So why do we call someone a "terrorist" if they fail to inspire terror?

If a person kills, that's a killer.

If a person rapes, that's a rapist.

If a person destroys, blows things up, but fails to scare people, that's a destructionist, not a terrorist.

The Main Stream Media (MSM) seems to like saying that beheading videos or threats of nuclear attack "strike fear into our hearts." Not my heart. I have had zero fear ever since 9-11. I'm more observant, more skeptical, more suspicious, but not more fearful.

Not one person I know, including soldiers in Iraq, is "terrorized" by anyone. If shots are fired, they have a healthy "fear", or actually the better word is "avoidance reaction", to being an easy target. They don't cringe in cowardly terror. They get angry and fight back.

"Fear" and "terror" are not operative in much of the world. Governments may give in to "terrorist" demands out of concerns for public opinion, but I doubt that even weak governments have much real "fear". The only thing they fear is civil war, or not getting elected again.

I will not refer to those who kill civilians and blow up buildings as "terrorists", since they fail to cause much terror.

I prefer to refer to them as "destructionists".

Why glorify them by granting them a title they have not earned, and thus do not deserve?

Lightning Strikers Manifesto

2005-02-12T23:19:00.000-08:00

*****

LiStriMani. Copyright 2005 by Steven Streight. Created in Paint Shop Pro 7.

Against Guy Kawasaki's Marketing Mediocrity

I just read a bizarre post on a blog, a post that spoke of the "Don't Worry, Be Crappy" theory of marketing.

This idea is declared in Rules for Revolutionaries(1999) by Guy Kawasaki.

Is this the old "put out the flawed product, hype it like crazy, and generate enough hysteria that you'll sell tons of it before anybody knows what's really going on"?

You bet it is.

One aspect of it is the attitude of "Who cares if the product is junk? Hype it and hard sell it."

Generate fast revenues from it, then, at your leisure, after many duped customers have invested heavily in the crap product, issue "patches", "fixes", "add-ons", or "upgrades" that fix the flaws, using the income derived from the shoddy product.

It's the opposite of "Disciplined product development process and the refusal to ship crap."

As my web developer discussion list friend, Peter McGregor stated in a recent post:

I recall way back in the early 1980s when the first PCs appeared and software for them was not plentiful, someone (who shall be nameless) telling me:

"If you write a program for the PC and place a small advert for it in the pages of Byte Magazine, (circulation was huge both sides of the pond) even if is riddled with bugs, you'll have 100k responses within a couple of weeks. Charge $10 a time for your offering CWO and you then cut and run as a rich man before anyone realises it isn't that good a product!"

Yes, a small percentage of a large base can be very profitable. (Sometimes wish I'd followed the advice - but at least I can live with my conscience!!)

---Peter MacGregor (used with permission).

This "Don't worry, be crappy" concept is the single most vile, self-destructive, anti-consumer, pro-mediocrity concept to hit marketing in probably the last 50 to 100 years.

Let's take a closer look at this "real piece of work" of misguided Marketing Stupidity.

Here's what Joe Agliozzo, over at Disruptive Business Models blog, says about releasing defective, shoddy, poor workmanship, dysfunctional, or bare minimum function, bug-ridden products to the consumer:

What you lose in "polish" and "presentation" along with some functionality is more than made up for in finding out (1) whether the customers are interested in buying what you are selling and (2) what you forgot about that customers actually need.

No matter how much thinking the team does on product features, customers will always come up with different or additional stuff that they have to have and they will let you know about it.

Of course, you always have to reach out to your customer base and communicate that your product is under development and needs more work, you want to partner with the customer in making the best product possible, etc. Don't claim your product is perfect when you know it is not, be humble.

Heaven forbid that the pharmaceutical companies follow this "crap product" release idea.

Or the automobile airbag manufacturers.

Or the vehicle child safety seat manufacturers.

Or railroads.

Or any product or service related to public safety and health. Which means most products and services, except for pure entertainment.

"Be crappy" with software and computer products?

Well, they tie in with national defense, food distribution systems, nuclear reactor regulation, etc.

See the PC World "What's Biggest Security Problem?" article, the third subhead, "Holey Software" at:

http://www.pcworld.com/
news/article/0,aid,110281,00.asp

Here's what I recently added to the Wikipedia entry on Guy Kawasaki:

[UPDATE EDIT Sunday Feb. 13, 2005: Wikipedia administrators deleted my comments. So if you follow the link, and don't see my statements as provided below, it's not because I lied. It's because they removed my wiki edit.]

Some of Kawasaki's ideas are not accepted by experienced direct marketers or consumer advocates.

For example, in Rules for Revolutionaries he advances the controversial principle of "Don't Worry, Be Crappy" in which he encourages companies to release shoddy, buggy, dysfunctional or barely functional "crap" products to the consumer. The hope is that the consumers will then forgive the company, send in their specs for improvement, and eagerly await the new improved version. Some consider this the "dumbing down" of beta testing and sheer marketing suicide, since it ignores negative word of mouth advertising by "chumped" customers.

"Ship shoddy, but ship first" can also be open to allegations of false advertising. Also, it is not universally valid to state that "first in the marketplace" equates to "market dominance" or the lion's share of all potential sales. Many leading brands were not the first in the marketplace with an offering in a specific product category.

This "be crappy" seems bass ackwards to me.

Worse, it sounds misanthropic.

Talk about betraying the trust of your customer base!

This is definitely *not* "mentally correct marketing".

It sounds like "marketing suicide for dummies."

The dumbing down of beta testing.

Beta versions should ideally not be sold, but distributed free to typical, representative users, who provide feedback on bugs and malfunctions.

Beta testers then ought to be altruistically offered a steep discount on the improved version, prior to general release of the mass distribution/improved product to the general public.

This "Be Crappy" approach to product development and distribution blatantly ignores the devastating effects of "word of mouth" advertising by angry, disgruntled, cynical customers who have been "taken" and "suckered" by a "crap" product.

No way will customers send complaints to the manufacturer, wait for the manufacturer to supposedly fix the product, then rush out to buy the new, improved version of the "crappy" product.

What idiotic dream world is this, where customers forgive a provider for gross, intentional foisting of bad products on them?

I buy a "crap" product once and I never go back and buy anything from that manufacturer ever again.

Screw me once, and I hate you forever. There are too many competing products and brands out there to muck around with a loser.

From what I hear proclaimed about his theories, in my opinion, Guy Kawasaki knows NOTHING about marketing or consumer psychology.

NetMarketing, No. 54, December 18, 2000 quotes Gerry McGovern's article of December 1l, 2000 "In Praise of Simplicity":

The technology industry is a speed addict.

The only thing that matters for many companies is to get the product to market before the competition, regardless of whether it works or not. Ship then test. The consumer is not happy [with such shoddy, fault-ridden tech products].

So now let me introduce you to the very opposite of "Don't Worry, Be Crappy" marketing strategy...

The Lightning Strikers Manifesto

(1.) Find out what customers want, before you create and release a product into the marketplace.

(2.) Test the usability and desirability of the product, before you release it to the public.

(3.) Use instant intuition where accumulated facts and data are lacking.

(4.) Once you have the most perfect possible product, based on customer needs (Deming's "voice of the customer") and manufacturing capabilities (Deming's "voice of the process"), strike like lightning with it.

Like lightning, hit the market with your perfect as possible product.

Like lightning, hit the public consciousness, the main stream media, the blogosphere, whatever, with accurate, enthusiastic information about your as perfect as possible product.

Like lightning, hit the competition with sales of your perfect as possible product, taking market share away from them.

Listen to the thunder of customer applause, critical reviewer raves, and competitive groans.

(5.) Reject the "if it ain't broken, don't fix it" mindset of mediocrity. Like lightning, speedily seek weak spots, improvement points, enhancement exciters in your product before the competition does. Constantly seek to find new and better versions of your as perfect as possible product.

(6.) To produce a "good enough" product is to invite the total and irreversible loss of credibility. Once the consumers form a mindset, a belief, a conviction that your products are junk, inferior, or faulty, expect a horrendous, nearly impossible uphill battle to change that perception.

(7.) "Don't Be Blurry, Be Snappy" is a better slogan for those who would destroy the competition and win the hearts and minds of customers. Don't have an unfocused image of the ideal product and settle for an lesser version. Be "snappy", have quick response to verified customer needs and manufacturing capabilities.

(8.) Instant Perfection and Immediate Dominance does occur. Aim for this, and if you fall a bit short, if you must make a gradual progression toward it, at least your target is admirable and worthy of the best thinking you can generate.

(9.) Never release to the public a product that you know is not as good as it could be. Never treat the marketplace like a focus group. When you release a "crappy" product to the customer, you're expecting them to buy something so you can learn more about it. Treat customers like "guinea pigs" and they'll let you wallow in the mud of shame,failure, and poverty.

(10.) Think: is this product, and marketing/distribution strategy, altruistic/philanthropic (i.e., good for others, with others as the priority, but also, therefore, ultimately, eventually, inevitably good for me too)...or narcissistic/misanthropic (i.e., good for me, but detrimental to others).

We have enough "crap" products, "junk" food, "garbage" television, "toxic" politics, and "dysfunctional" family relationships.

Don't dump more waste material on this planet, on sentient beings, or on your precious customers.

Donald Trump and Mentally Correct Marketing

2005-02-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

*****

"what the sea cucumber said to the soup" (Copyright 2005 Steven Streight. Created in Paint Shop Pro 7.)

Donald Trump and Mentally Correct Marketing

By now, everybody's buzzing about last night's episode of The Apprentice, the reality television show on NBC.

The Apprentice features Donald Trump, marketing and business operations project assignments, and a bunch of losers who try to act managerial and intelligent.

For a great recap of The Apprentice Dove Commercial episode, and a brilliantly short and coherent URL query string attached to it (other web masters please take note, especially online newspapers), please rush over right now (I'll wait for you to read and then return to this blog) to:

http://www.nbc./nbc/The_Apprentice_3/
episode_recaps/304_1.shtml

When the two slacker project teams tried to put together a tv commercial for new Dove Cool Moisture Body Wash, they failed, predictably, miserably.

Donny Deutsch said they had to be crazy to make commercials that stupid.

Cucumbers, token gay lovers (admittedly based on "Will & Grace" which does NOT portray the reality of most gay men, who don't hang all over women like they're hetero coupling), street race runners, sweat and towels.

In one "commercial," I thought I was watching the Subhuman Special Olympics Parody on Saturday Night Live or Mr. Show.

In the other "commercial," I thought I was in dilapidated dork brothel, or some no-budget, no-imagination, satirical, wanker-core porn movie set.

Here's what the NBC recap states:

The first thing out of Donny's mouth was the team can't wear goofy outfits and be taken seriously.

So Donny made them take off their hats. Then Donny and the two managing partners watched Magna's commercial.

Donny shook his head, but made no comment. He thanked the team and sent them out. Next, Net Worth presented their commercial. Donny thanked the group and sent them out.

Donny started the discussion with his two managing partners by saying that he was really disappointed. He thought that both commercials were "silly", "stupid" and "off". Both executives agreed.

One said that the choice was between a disgusting commercial where a sweaty runner rubs on body wash without using any water and a semi-porn piece.

Donny brought both teams back into the conference room and got Trump on the line. Donny pulled no punches and said that both teams "missed big." He had to tell Trump that there was no winner - an Apprentice first!

So, Trump responded with his own first and said that both teams would return to the boardroom to face him and someone would be fired.

Such wretchedly awful advertising and marketing incompetence!

The likes of which neither Dons had ever seen before.

And yet...forgive me for being so hard on the project teams. They had no experience in advertising or television. Why did anyone think they could avoid a total disaster?

This "make a tv commercial for Dove" was really just a "3D" publicity stunt: for Dove, Deutsch, and the Donald.

The worst commercial was the Deutsch spot. They are a real ad agency. And they still blew it bad.

You can't sell soap with dancing, smiling, and Miss Piggy.

What's so hard about advertising?

We're all experts at it, since we have consumed millions of radio and televison commercials,print ads, and junk mail since babyhood.

We have all formed opinions and discussed commercials with friends and co-workers. Those slackers on The Apprentice should have not been utterly clueless dolts.

No one had the guts to say, "This sucks. We cannot go through with this. We'd be better off doing nothing and apologizing, than doing something this brain dead."

I used to turn the volume OFF on the tv programs, and ON during commercials, when I was in my 20s and trying to study advertising. An ex-girlfriend named Molly can vouch for this, and she still giggles about it.

The Apprentice aired the actual Dove commercial produced by the ad agency, and I have to speak my mind here again: it sucked too.

Very trite, unimaginative, pointless.

Was that Miss Piggy? Who cares about Sesame Street or whatever Miss Piggy stars in?

This commercial contains no solid, problem-solving or benefit-providing message, no dramatized reason to buy the Dove product, and I would not have signed off on it.

Here's what I posted on the "Ad Rants" (www.adrants.com) blog site:

Deutsch should have dramatized dry, rough, itchy skin. Seth Godin says you have to explain the problem to most consumers before you can offer the solution and make the solution attractive. I agree. There are lots of ways to dramatize what it is that the Dove Cool Moisture Body Wash provides as a benefit. But too many pseudo-ad types think: "Let's have fun with the product. Let's have people dancing and smiling. Let's show happiness and imply that the product ultimately enhances happiness." So the problem and the product's unique solution get lost in the haze of stupid theatrics, music, costumes, Miss Piggy, and other brain dead idiot ideas--in the name of "fun."

How To Produce an Advertising Concept

Just look at the product.

Look at the problem it solves.

Look at the benefit it provides.

Think about why people need
that solution or benefit.

Think about what it's like
to NOT have that
solution or benefit.

Think of a good way to convey how
the product solves the problem
or how it provides a benefit...

...and why this product
is ideal and necessary NOW.

[That's the hard, but fun part.]

Streight Site Systems
Mentally Correct Marketing Version of a
Dove Cool Moisture Body Wash commercial

Take One:

A guy takes a gal on a date.

Everything is romantic and wonderful.

He goes to brush a crumb off her bare arm.

His hand starts bleeding, scraped by the rough skin.

He looks in shock and horrror as the gal begins
to turn into a Sandpaper & Barbed Wire Monster.

He runs for his life, dripping blood.

Dove Moisturizing Body Wash.
Antidote to dangerously dry skin.
Soften YOUR world...with Dove.

THE END

You could do all sorts of things
to dramatize dry skin.

Criminally dry skin.

Monstrously dry skin.

Embarrassingly itchy dry skin.

Dry skin that itches at
inopportune moments.

That's it.

Dove will have to pay me
to learn more.

My wife had an even better idea
for the commercial, but it'll
cost you to hear it, Dove.

BTW, Dove shampoo, conditioner,
and shower gel liquid soap stuff
are incredible.

I highly recommend
all Dove products.

Now if only somebody would do
some astonishingly smart and
effective television commercials.

Like EarthLink.

Like that financial company
(Edward Jones, I think)
commercial where the therapist
speaks a foreign language to
the mental problem "client".

(It must not be that good,
however, if I can't recall
the company name, some broker?)

Donald Trump:

"Mediocrity is always
due to laziness,
the refusal to go
the extra mile."

Selling the "Pre-sold" Customer

2005-02-03T12:45:00.000-08:00

******

First, let me explain what led up to the uproar over the issue of allegedly "pre-sold" ecommerce web site visitors.

The Law of Promo Photos

In a certain internet-based forum of mutual technical assistance, and occasional heated debate, I recently read a statement that amazed me.

I had stipulated in that forum that in direct marketing, it is a proven fact, based on numerous A/B split tests, that photos in advertising and sales material should show:

Product.

In use by customer.

Solving a problem.

(or)

Providing a benefit.

(or)

Enhancing someone's life.

Again: show typical users as they use the product, or obviously just finished using the product, to accomplish some specific goal.

Never just show the corporate office building, or a flagship product, or the entire line of products.

Those photos can come later, somewhere within the promotional/sales material, but not upfront and dominant.

When Product in Use photos were tested against Product Alone photos, in measurable direct response test situations, the Product in Use photos always produced greater customer response than the Product Alone photos.

There are exceptions, especially for universally known brands and products, like Coca Cola, IBM, or Madonna.

For some products or services, it may be difficult or impossible to show them being used by the customer. But in most cases a little imagination, plus knowledge of the customer, is all that's needed to come up with some type of product benefit image.

Application of Promo Photo Law
to Web Sites

I believe that this general guideline applies to web sites also.

A web site performs many functions for a company.

It can POTENTIALLY act as a virtual product showcase, corporate receptionist, advertising billboard, salesperson, brochure, catalog, order form processor, distribution point, PR agent, customer service department, etc.

The Comment That
Freaked Me Out

So, in the midst of debating these principles, my importation of database direct marketing principles into the realm of ecommerce applications at web sites, this comment occurred [paraphrased slightly, not the exact quote]:

"People visit an ecommerce web site to get information about the product. They already know they need an item, so they just want to know what the site has to offer in that product line. Photos of products are sufficient. The site visitor doesn't need a full sales pitch. He or she is already sold."

See that pile of hair on the floor?

It's okay, believe me.

I'll grow more eventually, to replace what I tore out.

Selling and Overcoming Buyer's Remorse
of "Pre-sold" Customers

"Pre-sold" customers visiting ecommerce web sites?

That's ill considered, unintentionally negligent, and abundantly disproven.

Remember the dot com bust in the 1990s?

That was one of the detrimental, self-defeating assumptions that caused so many ecommerce "web presences" to sink and disappear forever.

You must NEVER assume any customer or prospect is "pre-sold".

They don't visit your site eager and ready to part with their hard-earned money. A certain percentage of web site visitors may be wanting to quickly pick out appropriate or desired products and proceed to the virtual check out counter...but never assume that all visitors are so disposed.

Even if a web visitor is "pre-sold", what about upselling and cross-selling them? Sales pitches, of varying intensity and depth, should be taking place on an ecommerce web site.

A Web Developers Virtual Library tutorial on ecommerce shopping cart abandonment "Ecommerce and Usability" by Andrew Starling:

http://www.wdvl.com/Authoring/
Design/Basics/ecom1.html

states that up to 30% of ecommerce site shoppers abandon their shopping carts. They selected products to buy, but did not proceed to the order form to actually purchase anything.

Studies have also shown that even when a person is 100% ready to buy, the mentally correct marketing strategy is to Sell Them Again, at least to reinforce their wisdom in deciding to buy your product, and to buy it now.

In fact, some customers, including me sometimes, will view an ecommerce web site to gather product information and price quotes, then go to a bricks and mortar store to wheel and deal with that information as ammunition.

This is a far cry from being a "pre-sold" customer visiting a web site.

Then there's Buyer's Remorse.

"Buyer's Remorse" is the technical term for what Selling The Already Sold Customer overcomes:

**Soon after people buy any product, uncertainty assails them, and they begin to wonder if they made a huge mistake. Most medium to high level purchases are subject to this principle of Buyer's Remorse, while it rarely occurs with the purchase of candy bars or habitual purchases like cigarettes.**

No matter how "pre-sold" any customer is when they walk into your store...or visit your ecommerce web site...they still desire, in most cases, to be reassured.

Reassure your customers about their supposedly "pre-sold" condition. Reassure them that they have indeed made the right decision.

For those customers who really are "pre-sold", provide them with detailed product comparisons to help them determine which product offering is best suited to their needs. Then give them a fast and easy route to ordering the products selected.

Do your best to accommodate each customer type, but don't assume that most are "pre-sold" and don't need any reminders of value, or reassurances that their decision to buy from you is wise.

This is the essence of Mentally Correct Marketing, and one of its most important principles.

******************

EDIT UPDATE (Thursday Feb. 3, 2005 at 11:45PM):

I just got "flamed" on that same forum.

I will not divulge the name of the forum,
nor the name of the flamer.

But here is my response:

[________] asked me to provide sources and
citations for my claims.

How about WDVL web site?

http://www.wdvl.com/
Authoring/Design/Basics/ecom1.html

An article on Ecommerce Shopping Cart Abandonment
["Ecommerce and Usability" by Andrew Starling]
at the Web Developer Virtual Library site states:

"...[ecommerce shopping cart abandonment statistics]
are generally reported at around 30%.

You don't see 30% of customers in a real supermarket
abandoning their carts, so why is the figure so high
on the Internet? There are many factors including
security, reliability, and high shipping charges (a
major influence) but another big factor is the
intimidating nature of the Web. It's technical and
lacks human contact."

This is related to my claim that we cannot assum that
visitors who go to ecommerce sites are somehow
"pre-sold" and just seek product details and ordering
information.

That is really a wrong-headed idea.

I stand by my post on Selling the "Pre-sold" Customer
over at Streight Site blog, but thank you for pointing
out the fact that I really should provide links to
reputable sources.

ConsumerWebWatch has reviewed my web sites and found
them to be in compliance with their guidelines for Web
Site Information Credibility, and I am listed on their
site as a company that has pledged to continue to
adhere to these guidelines.

Have you any credentials this good?

I have the advantage of many years experience in
database direct response marketing, and some years as
a web usability analyst and user observation test
designer and administrator.

I'm just a beginner at HTML, XML, network security,
and other web-related issues.

Most of the [_______] list folks could make me look bad
quite easily and quickly on those technical issues,
which I therefore avoid debating.

I'm a tiny wee bit concerned to hear someone I like
and respect, who sent [did me a certain favor],
claim that he has:

"not heard a SINGLE thing contributed to ANY
conversation [I] have joined [er...I start some
conversations, I'm not just a joiner or a lurker]
based on ANYTHING BUT preponderance and speculation."

Search the [_______] archives and see if I merely make
wild statements of pure, unverifiable opinion.

"preponderance"?

the word means "weighs more than something else" and
yes, my comments on usability, and especially database
direct response marketing do "weigh more" than
comments on this topic from someone who lacks such
experience.

I never mean to "bait" or "flame" anyone, but if I
read a statement that in my professional expertise I
consider wrong, or even potentially detrimental, I
will speak out.

---Love and German (not French) Kisses,
Vaspers the Grate

EDIT UPDATE (Friday, Feb.4, 2005 at 10:34 AM)

My beloved flamer had to respond to my [flame response] post in the forum.

Though he's a web designer/developer, he said he went to Consumer Reports WebWatch and was unable to find me listed on their site. I'm not going to take him by the hand and teach him how to navigate a web site.

He asked what on earth is "database direct marketing" and if I'm one of those people that call him on the phone in the middle of his dinner. Well, at least he has a sense of humor. But if he doesn't know what "database direct marketing" is, he should find out for himself.

He insists on mentioning, by first name even, the person whose statement he claim I have horribly mangled, misrepresented, and used in an "inflammatory" manner.

Well, the person said words to the effect (I refrain from giving exact quote, to make it harder to trace, because I don't want to embarrass the person) that visitors to an ecommerce web site are already "pre-sold" and don't need any sales pitch, just details about the product line and instructions on how to order.

He, as many flamers tend to do, avoids direct discussion of the ecommerce and "pre-sold" customers issue. I guess he knows it is indefensible and outrageous.

Instead, he attacks my credentials, my expertise, my supposedly wild speculations. This is a common ploy that I'm used to encountering in online debates.

He also, and I had to chuckle heartily on this one, asked who I was, since all he could see was "a collection of free blogs."

So now he wants a list of all my clients, and all the web sites I've helped to improve via usability analysis and user observation testing? Sorry, he's just not worth the trouble to go into all that. But I could, if I deemed it truly important to do so.

He also has not been initiated into my esoteric faith, what I refer to as the doctrine of Zero Budget Marketing, a slightly revolutionary concept based on:

"What can a company do with zero, or near-zero expenditure of funds? And if a lot can be done with virtually no budget, just think what might be done with decent or merely average funding of a program!"

I will be posting an article soon here on my theory and implementation of Zero Budget Marketing.

As much as I enjoy lively discussion, passionately held beliefs, and dedication to facts obtained via long professional experience and rigorous research work, I feel I should not make any more replies.

Sometimes self-defense and explanation is appropriate. Other times, it just makes you look pathetic and overly concerned about being perceived as "right" about something.

Love and combative generosity,
Vaspers the Grate

EDIT UPDATE (Friday, Feb. 4, 2005 at 11:30 AM)

At the forum, someone expressed his habit of going to ecommerce web sites knowing exactly what product he wants, thus he is "pre-sold".

He was so happy that others are proclaiming that ecommerce web site visitors are "pre-sold". His expression of delight and relief was odd.

Perhaps he has grown to hate sales and marketing. Maybe he's shy and passive, and has been chumped by unscrupulous, slick, aggressive sales people in the past.

Maybe he doesn't know much about sales and marketing, thus resents being told that ecommerce web sites must incorporate such knowledge, knowledge he is not adept at.

Who knows?

He claims, or maybe I should more accurately say, he seems to think perhaps that he is typical of most ecommerce web site visitors.

Doubtful.

His anecdotal evidence may be true for him in most of his ecommerce experiences, but I question if his experience is typical for most ecommerce site visitors.

I press this point, because of how important it is for ecommerce site owners to decide upon the expected nature of visitors to their site.

Ecommerce is about intelligent, appropriate sales messages, not "here's our stuff, and here's the order form."

Here's my recent reply to this thread at the online forum...

[Me]:

"Then try this experiment:

Set up an ecommerce site that assumes that *all or
most* visitors are "pre-sold" and need no solid
explanations of the benefits and great features of
your products.

See how profitable it is, compared to another version
of the site that assumes that *all or most* visitors
can bear to be exposed to a stronger, but appropriate,
marketing message explaining or at least listing the
benefits and great features of your products.

This idea of an ecommerce web site being simply a
"digital brochure" or "online catalog" with little or
no marketing or sales strategy is not only old
fashioned presumption, but is largely responsible for
the dot com bust of the 1990s:

...thinking "if I just have an online presence,
customers will flock to it and buy my products
online".

There are many reasons for shopping cart abandonment
and for the fact that most web visitors bail out of a
site within 1-2 page views and within 10 seconds.

But assuming the "pre-sold" nature of web visitors is
a fallacy that contributes to failure."

[NOTE: Now watch them swarm that statement of "bail out of a site within 1-2 page views and within 10 seconds". This will probably offend them as web designers, some of whom can't bear to think of anybody not being awed by their site designs.

If they are typical flamers, they'll attack at what they think is the weakest point of my argument, not knowing all the reputable internet research statistics that support the statements.]

Love and debatable debacles,
Vaspers the Grate

Any Idiot Can Innovate

2005-02-01T11:31:00.000-08:00

*****

What is innovation?

First, consider the fact that the human mind, by intrinsic nature, hates excessive conformity and overbearing tradition. "Variety is the spice of life", they say. It's been proven.

I once ran across a university study that consisted of a tape playing during a party. One word was repeated over and over again. At a certain point, all the people at the party thought a different word was being repeated.

Their minds manufactured variety where none existed.

Sensory deprivation experiments on human subjects produce hallucinations. Where no sensory input exists, the mind manufactures its own.

I will hunt down the actual URLs to verify these facts for you, put them into an EDIT UPDATE at the end of this post, later, so I remain credible in all my statements, and I hope I can easily find links to this info.

But for now, think about how the mind revolts against excessively static environments.

I could go on about this topic, but I don't want your mind to rebel against my repetition of a fact, thus proving my own point in an auto-reflexive boomerang ironic paradox.

This issue of variety has direct bearing on the issue of innovation.

Innovation means:

new
bizarre
clever
creative
non-conformist
crazy
"different" (i.e., weird)
obvious, but neglected
imaginative
inventive
idiosyncratic
unfairly rejected
overlooked
seemingly absurd
abnormal
unexpected

ways of satisfying the needs of customers.

Innovation is extremely easy.

Any idiot can innovate. That's right. You heard it here first. It doesn't take a genius to be innovative. It actually requires bravery, independence, anti-medicrity, and a slight touch of silliness sometimes.

This is so important, I'll say it again:

Any idiot can innovate. It's so blasted easy, it's pathetic.

It's like "stealing" candy from a basket with a sign that says, "Free. Help yourself."

Innovation is based on the laws of creativity that have been defined and explained by much more articulate persons than your humble blogger. But allow me to recap two of them:

Creativity: Laws #1 and #2

1. Opposites.

* Tiny boombox televisions to wide screen televisions.

* Sour candy to liquid meat (protein shake drinks).

* Slow static new age drones (Biosphere) to fast techno rave beats (Squarepusher).

* Tight slacks to baggy jeans.

2. New combinations and applications.

* Marketing techniques for churches.

* Text messaging, typing into a telephone.

* Microwaves to heat food and to transmit information from remote control to tv.

* Virtual simulations of musical instruments.

* Pimp bragging to rap music.

* Classical music played on balloons and bicycles (PDQ Bach).

Since I love electonic music, allow me a bit of self-indulgence as I speak briefly about innovative music.

The artist calling himself SQUAREPUSHER (real name, Tom Jenkinson) is a case in point.

All I know is that, according to reviews displayed at the Barnes & Noble web site, Tom Jenkinson, aka SQUAREPUSHER, used to play some variety of jazz music, then shifted into "drums and bass", aka "drills and bass", aka "jungle beat" electronic dance music. Then he evolved into "fragmented break beat", where typical dance club beats are interrupted and distorted.

Now, in his 2002 release, a double CD entitled "Do You Know Squarepusher", he is emulating the pioneers of electro-acoustic music and musique concrete: Vladimir Ussachesky, Edgard Varese, Pierre Henry, Pierre Schaeffer, Stockhausen, John Cage, Pauline Oliveros, Oskar Sala, etc.

His music still contains elements of "fragmented break beat" and "drill and bass", but some selections are flat out synthesizer violence, shimmering shattering sine waves and oscillation aggressivity, long loud explosive waves of electronic doom.

It's experimenting with the opposite of new age slow chord change/static simplicity type music, and I like "Do You Know Squarepusher" CD a lot.

Some tracks are mellow, murky, strange reverberation music, but most of this CD is frenzied bizzaro splendor, with vocal mutilations and loopy disorientation methodology.

"F-Train" is one track where he seems to be reading a poetic manifesto on action discrepancy, anomoly, telemetry, swans songs colliding, disability, electrocution integration...like a digital age beatnick...whilst cool electonic noise swirl overhead and weave in and out like a drunken space shuttle.

The second CD is Alive in Japan July 2001 and it goes nuts with really wild harsh, uncontrolled electronic noise bursts and sound pattern corruptions.

All SQUAREPUSHER did was combine club break beat with early electro-acoustic and musique concrete styles, plus radical noise band aesthetics, add his own personal idiosyncrasies and moods, and voila!-- musical innovation.

In his "Ultravisitor" CD of 2004, he even has a track called "Iambic 9 Poetry" (instrumental) in which soft pretty guitar is accompanied by techno type rhythms...but the beats are played on acoustic drums, with clicking drum sticks together, and NOT with the standard, expected **electronic** drum machines.

This use of acoustic, human hands hitting the skins with wooden sticks type drums, instead of electronic, programmed drum machine modules, is very surprising and a nice turn of events, something different and unthought of.

Different and, until he did it, unthought of. Innovation.

SQUAREPUSHER (Tom Jenkinson) is no idiot.

But neither is he a true, original, rare genius.

Perhaps, in the near future, he shall indeed dazzle us with unimaginable genius.

But for now, his music, as of 2002-2004, is innovation in the musical realm.

If you can think...

If you can dream...

If you can challenge tradition...

If you can turn things
inside out and
upside down...

If you despise mediocrity...

If you like the "weird" and unusual...

If you seek an "edge" over competitors...

If you seek a "refreshment" or
"increased morale" in your firm...

If you want to make a name
for yourself, while providing
new product advances,

for the good
of all mankind...

You CAN innovate!

Get up and innovate something today.

Vanity Blogs of Random Personal Thoughts are Doomed

2005-01-22T23:27:00.000-08:00

*****
Why do I predict that Vanity Blogs of Random Personal Thoughts are "doomed" and will one day soon no longer exist?

Because:

1. These blogs are boring

2. These bloggers (blog authors) will not have the stamina, the energy, to keep writing on and on and on, while no one visits their blog and if by some miracle they do get a visitor, that visitor won't bother to leave a comment.

Since these "digital diary" bloggers talk a lot but have nothing to say, how can anyone really respond to their blog via a comment. A comment? A comment on what? On nothing? Okay....

Here's what I copied and pasted from an actual blog entitled (charmingly and creatively enough) "My Life":

[POST TITLE]: Confused..

Never feel so confused before... Now I don't seem to know what I want... or worst what I feel.. Feel like my past is haunting me n my future is pressuring me... God... can u enlighten me in someway or another...Nobody knows bout my past two years... they may know it by the surface... but the real impact of my last two years still remain a secret... A secret I really hope to reveal to someone I hold dearly to...Someday... maybe I'll...

Went out today... it's was fun I must admit... but it added a lot to my thoughts.. like... What was I doing?? What was I longing for?? Am I looking for something?? or worst... someone?? What is it?? Why is it so hard for me to know.. Am I drown in my own emotion...or am I blinded by the light.... I need an answer ... n I need it fast... Too many sleepless night... Too many tears... I'm a confused soul... Longing to be found...

I know I need to calm down... no one can help me except me alone... but how calm is calm... n how will I know when the answer finally arrive... Will it ring a bell... or will knock... will I miss it... or will I see it... I'm too worried to know... But I think I'm too scared to know... I need to go for a heart operation... I need a new heart... this heart is worthless now... it's trying to wonder off alone.... but I'm too scare to follow it... scare to be hurt once more... I know life is all bout risking... but I've risk much for the last two years... n I've lost all... All that is important to me... My ego..my reputation..my feelings n my soul.... They are coming back to me now... I know the are.. I'm just too scare to let them go again... too scare to try...

Well... I hope things will be clearer as time passes by... I have faith it will... What is mine will be mine... My ego.. my reputation... my feelings n my heart... it'll all come back... back to me... so that I may once again risk ....I need to rest my thoughts....I'm...too...confused

posted by Mei Yin @ 10:30 PM
1 Comments:

*

At 10:25 PM, Steven Streight said…

Suggested upcoming post titles:

Bored
Troubled
Worried
Worried Sick
Lethargic
Deleting This Blog Due to My Not Having Anything to Say
About Anything Important and Worth Reading

While I don't mean to hurt anybody's feelings, blogs like this are cluttering the webscape.

They have a right to create any blog they want and write anything they want on their blog. But did they ever consider how impolite and selfish it is to take up space on a server and on the internet with such rubbish?

Vanity blogs are doomed. Very few people have stacks and stacks of print medium diaries or journals. Generally, people just keep a journal or diary for a short period of time, like during some crisis, tragedy, or transition, then stop and move on with their lives.

Thus, vanity chatterboxing blogs won't exist forever. People will stop maintaining them and stop creating them. The sooner, the better.

Slogan Slogging for Enhanced Creativity

2005-01-18T23:37:00.000-08:00

*****

It's time to share a little secret of mine with all my beloved fans.

This is a little exercise in creativity, a way to train your mind to think outside the brainwashing box.

It's a simple deconstruction technique that has been used, but maybe never defined, by advertisers and salespeople for ages.

Ever heard of "slogan slogging" aka "proverb busting" aka "motto mangling" aka "topsy turveying"?

Of course you haven't. I invented those terms myself and have, to date, never really revealed them to anyone in any serious exposition.

It's fun, safe, and provides hours of diversion for the whole family. All it takes is a little imagination, boredom, and contempt for conformist group think.

Step-by-Step Guide to Slogan Slogging

Here's how it works:

1. Select a commonly accepted, oft repeated phrase that bugs you.

2. Now, start changing words in the phrase. Show no mercy. Warp and distort at will. Try reversing the meaning or expanding the intention. Or re-craft the phrase as a reply to the one who used it. (See Example 5)

3. Next, re-write the phrase retaining all the demolishing and mutations. Voila! you got yourself a slogged slogan. Congratulations!

4. Finally, start using the mangled motto as often as possible, forcing it aggressively into conversations and email messages.

5. Someday, eventually, someone will get tired of your busted proverb and will turn it upside down or inside out, perhaps reverting back to the original statement. This cannot be helped or avoided, since it's beyond your control.

Examples of Slogan Slogging:

In case you didn't quite follow clearly what I described above, let's look at some real world samples of slogans I've slogged.

I'm not trying, in these examples, to create real advertising slogans, but to just show you the process.

This process may come in handy when you're trying to come up with ideas for product names, sales material, marketing strategies, etc.

EXAMPLE #1

[Original Slogan]: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

[Slogged Slogan]: "Yesterday was the last day of the past of your life."

Okay, that was a technique called Topsy Turveying: standing the statement on its head, turning it in the opposite direction.

EXAMPLE #2

[Original Slogan]: "Two heads are better than one."

[Slogged Slogan]: "Two hands are better than one thousand."

EXAMPLE #3

[Original Slogan]: "If you can't beat em, join em."

[Slogged Slogan]: "If you can't join em, start your own club."

EXAMPLE #4

[Original Slogan]: "It's raining."

[Slogged Slogan]: "What's raining?"

EXAMPLE #5

[Original Slogan]: "Same difference."

[Slogged Slogan, as distorted feedback]: "But different sameness."

EXAMPLE #6

[Original Slogan]: "There must be a reason for it."

[Slogged Slogan]: "There must be an id for reason."

EXAMPLE #7

[Original Slogan]: "What's up?"

[Slogged Slogan, as technical answer disguised as inquiry]: "What's the opposite of down?"

EXAMPLE #8

[Original Slogan]: "Be the change you want to see in the world."

[Slogged Slogan]: "Change the world, you want to be in the sea."

[Alternate Slogan Slog]: "See the bee you want to change in the world."

EXAMPLE #9

[Original Slogan]: "God helps those who help themselves."

(According to a recent survey, this is the favorite Bible verse of Americans, but it's not in the Bible, so I can safely slog it.)

[Slogged Slogan]: "God heals those who hurt themselves."

EXAMPLE #10

[Original Slogan]: "I think, therefore I am."

[Slogged Slogan]: "I think I am, therefore I think."

EXAMPLE #11

[Original Slogan]: "If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it."

[Slogged Slogan]: "If the simple understand was human enough to mind, understand: we'd be too human to mind it."

EXAMPLE #12

[Original Slogan]: "I have mixed feelings about it."

[Slogged Slogan]: "I have felt mixings about it."

EXAMPLE #13

[Original Slogan]: "When it rains, it pours."

[Slogged Slogan]: "When it pains, it's sores."

EXAMPLE #14

[Original Slogan]: "What's the sound of one hand clapping?"

(Supposedly anti-logic Zen koan devised to demonstrate how the mental understanding is limited and word play can supposedly stymie the mind. I disagree. I believe the mind is more than words, though I'm using words to convey this.)

[Slogged Slogan]: "What's the point of one hand shaking?"

[Alternate Slogan Slog in the form of a reasoned reply]: "Since one is half of two, the sound of one hand clapping is half the sound of two hands clapping."

[Alternate Slogan Slog in the form of a seasoned supply]: "Whoosh. Whoosh." (sound of one hand slapping the empty air.)

Okay.

That's enough for now.

You've got the hang of it, right?

Okay, good.

Now it's your turn.

Go ahead.

Slog a slogan.

This is how you can come up with advertising slogans and headlines and product names.

By putting a new twist on an old saying.

Products That Market Themselves

2005-01-01T17:35:00.000-08:00

*****

Here's anecdotal evidence to demonstrate
how some products can market themselves.

If you visit the K-Swiss tennis shoe
web site at www.kswiss.com
you'll discover, in their About K-Swiss
page, that they "do not pay
millions of dollars to" athletes
or sports stars to endorse their products.

This is revolutionary news.

The K-Swiss company tells shoppers
that one pair of their shoes will
convince you to become a loyal customer.

They ask you to put your own
"spin" on the shoes and their quality.

It's absolutely true.

Once you own a pair, you are hooked.

I bought a pair of "Classic" style
K-Swiss flat bottom leather tennis
shoes several years ago.

I wish I could tell you exactly
how long ago, but I think it was
about 6 years ago.

They would not die.

They did not fall apart.

I walked the daylights out of them.

I mowed the grass wearing them.

I walked 4 to 10 miles at a time.

I tromped through snow and mud.

They got soaked, then dried harshly
in the heat of my apartment.

They maintained their integrity.

Eventually, the rubber soles were so
worn, I had to buy a new pair.

The leather upper portion of the shoes
was scuffed and stained, but not
compromised, not torn, no holes,
no unravelling of thread, nothing.

The stitches stayed stitched.

The leather remained intact.

I actually considered giving them
a decent burial, they seemed so much
like dear, faithful friends.

I was now a fiercely loyal lifetime
evangelist of the K-Swiss brand shoe.

Today I bought a new pair of K-Swiss
white leather "low" cut (free ankle)
"Kendis" style tennis shoes.

Only $49.

Other brands were on sale, but
I didn't bother wasting my time.

I knew what brand I wanted: K-Swiss.

When I tried them on, instantly
they felt cushy, luxuriously good.

They felt sturdy and balanced.

They look very sharp.

I will tell everyone I know about
how much I like K-Swiss shoes.

No other brand of tennis shoe
interests me in the slightest.

I wrote an email to K-Swiss
customer service telling them
what I've divulged in this post.

The K-Swiss shoes market themselves.

This is the essence of
Mentally Correct Marketing.

Produce a product that is so good
and so reasonably priced, they
sell themselves via word of mouth.

Try on a pair of K-Swiss shoes.
You won't want to take them off.

Test Your Instructions With Users

2004-12-09T09:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not in a good mood and there's a reason for it.

I just spent over 5 hours mucking around with installing a popular software program, actually an upgrade/renewal of a subscription to a service, and it should have taken less than 2 hours.

Why the extra 3 hours?

Somebody forgot or refused to test actual average typical users on the download instructions.

There are complex instructions, with many "if this occurs, it MAY BE due to (whatever), so you MAY TRY clicking on this, then this screen SHOULD appear, and then you should click on (whatever)"--totally worthless user guidance

The instructions were wrong most of the time. Certain functions to click on did NOT appear on the screens. Certain events did NOT occur as predicted in the instructions. Many things had no relation whatsoever to reality. Bogus.

Who approved these worthless yet complex instructions?

One thing's certain: the instructions were not field tested with users.

The software upgrade/renewal had to go through these phases:

1. Website Contact via Browser
2. Download
3. Install
4. Activate
5. Refresh via Computer Re-start
6. Operate (allow the software to scan and perform its functions)

I really like the company and their superior quality product.

I trust the company.

I will not even consider any competitive products.

But the Customer Service is rotten, horrible, ridiculous.

Another case of asinine Outshore Outsourcing strikes again.

First, the online instructions are a nightmarish mess.

Next, the toll free 800 Customer Service is manned by people seemingly in India or Pakistan, and while I love both of these countries and wish them no harm, the Customer Service representatives CANNOT CORRECTLY PRONOUNCE ENGLISH WORDS.

"Status" was garbled into STAY TUSS, sounding like SLAVE BUS or something. I explained that I pronounced it STA (A as in "AT" and "BACK") TUSS. I tried to be polite and patient. I feel sorry for these poor workers who are improperly trained by the ignorant American corporations.

I predict that Offshore Outsourcing is Corporate Suicide, and it will play a major role in the irreversible decline of the United States.

Offshore Outsourcing will enable China and the European Union to rise to global dominance, usurping the USA. Maybe we deserve to devolve into a third rate republic. Judging by American corporate customer service, I'd say we're shooting ourselves in the foot so we can hobble around like Oedipus, only to be blinded by the light of the truth.

You must TEST your instructions and procedures on actual representative users.

Too many companies seem to be throwing up instructions on their web sites, in manuals, in software, etc. without knowing if anyone outside their offices can figure out the damn things.

This is a user-hostile attitude.

This is Psycho Narcissistic Pseudo-Capitalism, based on selfish negligence.

My post on "Customer Service IS a Profit Center" needs to be heeded.

My post on "Dumbing Down vs. Simplicity" over at my Vaspers the Grate web usability blog needs to be heeded.

Common sense and decency are all it takes to understand that companies cannot merely assume that instructions are followable.

Just because the instructions make some degree of sense to the writer, designer, and manager does not mean that the market, user base, audience is going to be successful with them.

How many sales and repeat business are lost due to this crucial step in the implementation of a product?

Bosses should not be allowed to test anything.

Your only testers should be typical users, average customers, of your product. Test them with no coaching, no added explanations, just the raw instructions provided on the web site, or in the manual or software.

Thinking Outside the Brainwashing Box

2004-11-30T19:40:00.000-08:00

Mentally Correct Marketing consists of Thinking Outside the Brainwashing Box.

Here are some examples:

* IMPEITY

A church serves communion...with oyster crackers. You know, those little oval crackers you put in chilli. It makes you want to laugh, or knock them out of the usher's hand and crush them underfoot, whilst loudly proclaiming, "That's it. I can't stand any more disrespect and sacrilege."

* SAME OLD STORY

Notice all the resignations in the United States government, secretary of this and secretary of that, and now the head of Homeland Security? And what is the reason they're giving? "I want to spend more time with my family."

How stupid and blindly obedient do these chumps think we are?

We know they didn't suddenly turn into family lovers.

Why can't they be honest and say, "It's not fun anymore" or "Honestly folks, I'm burnt out" or "I'm not the right person for this job. I'm interested in pursuing more lucrative private sector work"?

* BLOG ATTACKERS RESIGN

It's funny to see the big mainstream media chumps resign right after being exposed as liars, incompetent journalists, and political hacks.

It's also funny to note that their resignations occur right after they got together in a little pow wow and condemned the "bloggers sitting at their computers in pajamas" as though what a blogger wears has something to do with their credibility.

* THE VIOXXING OF AMERICA

We have to think for ourselves when it comes to health products and services.

The pharmaceutical companies, many doctors and medical associations, and perhaps the liquor industry, are against the legalization of medical or recreational marihuana.

This is bad news for sufferers who gain no relief from "orthodox" mainstream medical practice.

The anti-drug groups express fears that people will abuse marihuana, but fail to notice all the abuse of allergy medicine, prescription pain killers, etc., and the massive doping of children with Ritalin, Prozac, and Dexedrine, as a "cure" for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

I think the children need less television, no video games, healthier diets, more outdoor exercise, and more compassionate discipline, not "mood drugs".

The recreational drug solution is simple and obvious: make any drug or alcohol related crime more punitive.

Be less forgiving as a society when someone causes damage or injury when intoxicated by anything, from sugared/fatty junk food to heroin.

The message would then be: if you get intoxicated, don't drive or operate heavy machinery or do anything that could endanger yourself or others.

But don't make the intoxication itself a crime...

...unless you want to make gluttony a crime, since overeating and poor diets result in higher health care costs and personal problems of obesity and increased health risks.

Vioxx has proven, along with other medicines that were sold then banned, that we cannot trust the FDA or doctors or the greedy pharmaceutical industry.

We can appreciate the good these groups do, but we must be wary of their imperfections and even sinister agendas.

It seems to me that marihuana is condemned largely due to how growing a simple plant in your garden or attic would result in huge financial losses to pharmaceutical companies. The side effects and "dangers" of marihuana pale in comparison to many other "approved" medicines.

* MUSIC TORTURE AT CAMP X-RAY

How funny it is to hear that prisoners in G-Bay, Cuba, suspected terrorists, are being tortured with loud, incessant rap music.

There's nothing funny about torture, and the USA is supposed to be more civilized and moral than our terrorist enemies.

When people say, "They deserve it, they're terrorists, they want to kill more Americans, they are less than human" it makes me shudder.

That kind of talk is not patriotic, not representative of true American values.

We cannot fight the Taliban by becoming like the Taliban. If we become just as nasty, barbaric, and immoral as our enemies, do we deserve to win?

But what is funny to me is the use of rap music. To me, rap music is torture. Not black music per se, I like soul music.

And some forms of rock, dinosaur rock, outmoded bands that stick to plain old rock and roll or heavy/death metal, like AC/DC, Metallica, growl and scream bands, or Aerosmith, they're torture, too.

I wonder if any of the still living rap artists, the ones who haven't shot or stabbed each other, have anything to say about being labeled "torture" to listen to?

I suggest we use opera music. That's even more torturous than rap or old fashioned rock music.

But we must not use any music in an inhumane manner. Just enough to make them confess.

To be forced to listen to gangster rap, heavy metal, growl'n'scream punk, or operatic music 24 hours a day, seven days a week...well, that's a fate worse than death.

Content Hypertext Spam

2004-11-19T01:48:00.000-08:00

*****

IT HAPPENED AGAIN.

Yes, precious fans, I've stumbled onto another horrible development on the web. This is so awful, I'm posting the exact same post on this site that I posted on Vaspers the Grate, my web usability blog.

This is too much. The internet is getting worse every day. Dig this...

*****

COMMENT HYPERTEXT SPAM

Well, I thought that "Comment Spam" was the worst thing that ever happened to blogs and interactive functions of web sites.

Boy, was I wrong. There's something worse.

I call it "Content Hypertext Spam." Others refer to it as IntelliTXT, from Vibrant Media, the provider company that offers this "product" to dumb webmasters.

You know I never attack a company or a product. But this time, I'm making an exception, though I'm going to concentrate on the concept, more than the supplier.

What is "Content Hypertext Spam"?

Let's say you're at some web site.

You skimmed, skipped, and scanned until you found an item of interest, an article on a topic of concern to you personally or professionally.

You start reading this article.

You enjoy it. You're learning some valuable facts.

You see a blue, underlined word or phrase in the text.

You're no dummy.

You know that text is clickable/selectable.

You click/select it, hoping to be taken to another online resource that will explain in more detail some aspect of the topic discussed in the article.

WRONG.

You just navigated to a web site that wants to sell you something.

Some product that is probably totally unrelated to the topic or issue discussed in the article.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to:

CONTENT HYPERTEXT SPAM.

Every time an unsuspecting user clicks on/selects such a deceptive link, the web site owner/webmaster gets some money from the advertiser.

HOVER STATE WARNING: You will know it's Content Hypertext Spam, prior to clicking on/selecting the link, because a box will pop up, like a tool tip, when you hover your cursor over the text. The box will contain a headline like "SPONSORED LINK", a paragraph of descriptive text, and a URL (web address) to click on/select.

What you thought was a legitimate hypertext link, was actually a Hidden Advertisement.

This is Spam...hidden in Content...and disguised as a Hypertext Link.

Content Hypertext Spam goes far beyond simple Comment Spam.

To be bothered or led astray by Comment Spam, you have to read an article, then activate "Read Comments" (navigate to comment posting page of web site), then read the Comment Spam, then stupidly click on/select the spammy, possibly dangerous URL contained within the (usually irrelevant) comment.

With Content Hypertext Spam, all you have to do to be annoyed or misled by this spam is innocently read an article and click on/select a linkable bit of text.

Content Hypertext Spam by IntelliTXT is "Spam" because it is:

1. unsolicited advertising

2. commercial in nature

3. disruptive of content path

4. irrelevant to topic of article

5. irrelevant to purpose of online resource

6. deceptive (pretends to be relevant content, but is really an ad)

7. destination is AWAY from topic, rather than TOWARD relevant information

8. harmful to editorial integrity

9. damaging to credibility of online resources in general

10. violates user expectations of link destinations and how links work

11. blurs distinction between editorial content and advertising

12. voluntarily, knowingly incorporated into web site content by webmaster, but users are in the dark about what the links really are (clandestine marketing ploy)

13. the link spam could target more words than the webmaster anticipated, thus making webmaster an object of ridicule and distrust

14. can result in users never returning to site and they'll start warning others: resulting in negative word of mouth advertising against you

How You Can Combat Content Hypertext Spam:

Add *.intellitxt.com to your restricted sites list.

Depart from, and never return to, any online resource, web site, or blog, that contains Content Hypertext Spam.

Contact the webmaster and complain about the deceptive Content Hypertext Spam.

MORE INFO

For more insight into this new form of internet trash, please see:

Marketing Works-Julia Hyde "Vibrant Media's IntelliTXT--the next generation of annoying online advertising"

Editors Weblog.org "News Sites: new risks of confusion between ads and contents"

Wired.com "This Headline is Not For Sale"

Comment Spammers: Internet Pigs and How They Feed

2004-10-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

internet pigs and how they feed
*****

NOTICE: This is an exact copy of today's Vaspers the Grate web usability blog post. This topic is so important to users, blog and web site administrators, and the entire internet, I felt it needed maximum readership.

ABSTRACT (SUMMARY): Comment spam is irrelevant, unethical, offensive, or unwanted, typically commercial, message propagation on comment posting pages of blogs and web sites.

Comment spam is invading every interactive and community building functionality on the internet.

Here's what you need to do to protect yourself, and to help stop this unprecedented attack by these "internet pigs."

PERSONAL AGENDA: Comment spammers killed one of the best blog directories, Blizg, which enabled bloggers to paste meta-tags into their templates.

Comment spammers are killing my favorite art magazine discussion forum. It's time to launch a savage techno/psychological assault on these depraved idiots.

*****

If you operate or regularly visit internet discussion forms hosted by online magazines or professional organizations, I'm sure you've seen this foul predator.

If you operate or regularly visit blogs, I'm sure you've encountered this disgusting fiend.

Comment spam!

You know--you're interested in a question, issue, or idea being discussed online. You click on (select) the "thread" (topic) and begin to read. You enjoy good user-generated content, which enriches the value of this web site.

Fascinating.

Informative.

Funny.

Smart.

Useful.

Challenging.

(Then....) What??????

STUPID. (or) MEANINGLESS.
(or) PERVERTED. (or) IRRELEVANT.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have the distinct honor to introduce to you all the Next Big Thing in internet garbage, your new and relentlessly ruthless Enemy: COMMENT SPAM.

COMMENT SPAM:

(1.) automatic irrelevant drivel generated by spambots (program code strings), generally signed "buy levitra" or some other dubious commercial crap, and usually accompanied by URLS

(2.) human created drivel, or too brief, generic, stilted comments ("Hello. This is my first time here. I read almost the whole article. Nice work on an interesting topic. Will return to read more later. (etc.)"), usually accompanied by URLs

(3.) lengthy irrelevant lists of domain names for sale, pornographic sites, municipal law codes, literary reviews, news items, etc.

(4.) comments that are extremely offensive or irrelevant and Off Topic (OT).

I'm not refering to just plain dumb and dumber comments.

I'm talking about nonsense, confusion, insincerity, gibberish, or cut and paste editorial that is totally irrelevant, if not X-rated sexual crap, race hatred, or partisan political frenzy lunacy.

I call these spurious commentors Internet Pigs.

The comment spammer Internet Pigs seethe with rage and loathing for people like me, who expose them and teach others how to identify, throttle, thwart, and harm them.

THE GOAL OF COMMENT SPAMMING

Usually this comment spam will have URLs (web addresses, starting with http://www.) attached at the bottom or embedded in the text.

This is done to get readers to click on (select) them and thus boost the comment spammers Search Engine Ranking to drive user traffic to their site, or the site of some company they are promoting.

Just posting these URLs will boost Search Engine ranking for the spammers.

Sometimes the destinations of the URLs, the web or blog entry addresses, are legitimate.

But the comment spam is not legitimate, not ethical, and will soon become totally ILLEGAL.

Some people whine and moan and wave their "freedom of expression" flags in the air like we have to salute them, no matter how ridiculous or offensive that expression may be.

No.

Discussion forums and blogs are not dedicated to editorial anarachy or "freedom of expression" at the cost of integrity, decency, intelligence, and relevance to the topic thread.

Comment spammers use "copy and paste" (copy text from anywhere on the web, then paste it in a comment posting area) and "random text generators" (meaningless, garbled word salad, strings of words that may almost make sense, but go nowhere fast) to do their dirty work.

If you've ever accidentally opened a spam email, you've probably seen some random text: (EXAMPLE) "She shopped near the tree crumb bloat factory bread as many unseen fingernails succumbed to ill noticed color dimension airplane meanderings in the smoke flush dawn bleak report."

This nonsense wording is used to sound somewhat literate, thus fooling the spam and virus filters on your email program. The same thing occurs on comment posting pages of web sites.

Spambots and human comment spammers will use philosophy quotes, quotes from Hollywood stars, song lyrics, anything innocent sounding, to trick filters into thinking the comment is real, relevant user-generated content.

Or you'll see weird little hash marks, umlauts, or accent marks hovering over letters. Another method for tricking rhetoric/syntax/vocabulary based filters.

If a comment is repulsive, misleading, hate-mongering, trolling, baiting, stupid, or just plain off topic (OT)...it will, or should, be deleted forever.

Some comment spammers cry about "strange" comments being possibly innocent "art". Or simply innocent blog/web site promotion tactics.

Who are they trying to fool? You shouldn't promote anything, without at least contributing an intelligent, informative comment that adds to the overall thread conversation.

Comments are content. Not an opportunity to blabber stupidly or unethically.

My reply to this, from an actual comment I made on a art discussion forum:

"Comment spam has been defined and so has freedom of speech.

If you don't know the difference between spam and legitimate comments, between search engine ranking techniques and bonafide conversation--how charming and quaint your hicktown aesthetics are, so unspoilt by technical considerations.

A forum is not a chat room, nor a page rank booster, nor a free advertising arena."

I got lots of hostile, obscene, foul-mouthed, spam-comment replies to that announcement in the art discussion forum. Which proves how sick these spam perpetrators are.

Sometimes a blog commenter will post a comment with a alleged link to an article he wrote on a web site, but when you foolishly follow the link, you're taken to some page of the site that has nothing to do with the alleged article.

This too is comment spam.

Blog commentors: get your act together, please quit commenting sloppily--or you'll likely be considered an Internet Pig comment spammer.

According to Adam Kalsey, CTO of Pheedo, comment spam began at Usenet, migrated to Email, and now is viciously attacking Blogs and Discussion Forums.

Spammers are hitting Trackbacks, Blogrolls, Email This Article To A Friend, RSS Feeds, Guestbooks, any interactive functionality they can exploit to their greedy advantage.

Elise Bauer at the MT tutorial site www.elise.com has a good explanation of these different spamming methods and site vulnerabilities. She also has a great policy statement on deleting any comments she considers OT (Off Topic), ignorant, or simply insubstantial in regard to the topic being discussed. Hooray for lovely Elise!

The Internet Pig Comment Spammers must really dread having to flip burgers at McDonalds, selling appliances at Sears, or going to college to learn a skill.

I rank the skanky Internet Pigs almost as low as crack whores/pimps or pharmaceutical companies anxious to dope teenage Johnny for just being a normal, active, authority-questioning male.

Joi Ito asks in her blog: are blogs "parties" anyone can attend...or publications that may be strictly edited? Depends on the blog, but most are both to some degree.

But her blog article discussing comment spam has spam in comments #27 to #32, which I complained about in a comment posted to the discussion. I must await her approval before seeing my comment posted. Good for her! That's one good way to combat the Internet Pigs.

Photo Matt blog states in "Weeds in the Garden":

"...is a good read. Now scroll down to the comments. Dozens and dozens of spam comments. I see this over and over again on MT and s9y sites. What’s terrible is these pages are just as dangerous as dedicated spam blogs. Think about it: I shouldn’t even be linking to it now."

Blogging expert and pioneer Dave Winer thinks that comment posting in blogs is not vital. As far as I understand, blogs were originally just lists of URLs of interest, not random drivel about boring personal feelings and activities.

Mark Pilgrim of Dive Into Mark blog compares the two possible comment spam riddance solutions to The Club or Lojack approaches to prevent or punish car theft. It's a very good, heavily-linked (full of linked external resources) read for all you intellectuals out there.

Amy Gahran, sort of a protege of Jakob Nielsen, discusses comment spam in her Contentious blog.

Jay Allen, Jeremy Zawodny, WIRED magazine, Steven Berlin Johnson, Jeffrey Zeldman, Google bloggers, Sun Microsystems bloggers, and many of the major web design and developer experts have recently been posting warnings and manifestos of war against comment spammers.

There are ways to hurt the comment spammers and deprive them of their sources of income, but you have to be fairly geeky to do it.

It includes reporting them to their hosting providers, telling ISPs what their connections are being used for, and complaining to the product manufacturers the spammers supposedly represent.

HOW BLOGS AND FORUMS CAN
COMBAT COMMENT SPAM:

Mark Glaser at Online Journalism Review, provides these tips (my paraphrase, plus I add one or two to his list):

1. Turn off comments. Users and spammers both are unable to post remarks.

2. Turn off comment posting on older posts (spammers love them).

3. Don't allow URL links in comments.

4. Use a blacklisting (forbidden domains, email addresses, etc.) service.

5. Use a whitelisting (allowable domains, email addresses, etc.) service.

6. Redirect all links from your blog comments (no boost in Search Engine rank).

7. Require user registration prior to comment posting.

8. Require users to preview comments prior to posting.

9. Use a "captcha" device (numbers or letters contained in a graphic image that users must enter in a box, or an easy math problem users must enter the answer to).

10. Email verification of comment (users must reply to an email asking if they actually authored the comment).

11. Moderate the comments, imposing an indefinite delay on posting.

12. Issue legal warnings about criminality of comment spam.

WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW
(MARCHING ORDERS):

Comment Spam is a hot topic right now. You should educate yourself on this.

USERS: Write emails to editors, administrators, and operators of blogs and online forums and demand that they either moderate the comments, add bot blockers like captchas, or install some type of anti-spam software.

BLOGS & FORUMS: Quit whining. Manual deleting of comments is not impossibly hard. Generally, it's just clicking. Even if it's 200 per day, so what? Hire a retired person do it for you, or a give a high school kid free pizza and soda for doing it. Find a solution.

USERS: Don't have a hissy fit if a blog or forum asks you to register, preview, or email verify before your precious comment will appear on a site. You can't wait for your comment to be posted? Comment posting is a privilege, not an inherent right granted by God to you.

EVERYBODY: Thanks for getting off your butt and helping to fight the comment spamming Internet Pigs.

Declare all out war on Comment Spam, before this blight forces us all to no longer allow comments anywhere, thus reducing the interactive quality of the entire web.

And a rampant disabling of all interactive/community building functionalities is doomsday for the internet.

In fact, along with offshore outsourcing, comment spam has the potential to severely damage information sharing, and ultimately, the United States economy--along with the inherent value and effectiveness of the global internet.

Makes you wonder who's really behind all this, doesn't it?

Mentally Correct Means Effective and Ethical

2004-10-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

*****

I spend a great deal of time yesterday debating an issue. The debate occured on a web developer's email discussion list.

"Pre-selection" of options on a form was the hot topic. As usual, I was the one who pretty much started the war.

You know what I mean: you register at a site, or sign up for an email newsletter, and you are presented with all these other options to choose from. Special offers from other advertisers, other newsletters and email alerts, etc.

Often certain items have check marks already in the boxes, and you have to click on the boxes to "unselect" them.

Someone had asked about code for pre-selecting choices on a form. But he meant post, not pre, selection. He refered to when a user updates a profile, and wants to see what he had already, previously selected.

I misunderstood the context, and dropped a bomb on "pre-selection" calling it an abomination. I was refering to actual pre-selection of check boxes on a form or function, forcing the user to "de-select" or "uncheck" the boxes, which is, in most cases, ridiculous.

Pre-selection, pre-checked boxes on a form or function violates the concept of the web: user empowerment, unconstrained by other parties, who may have dubious motives and agendas, greedy for easy income from unsuspecting people.

Someone actually argued that presenting users with unchecked boxes is coercive also: you're forcing the "No" option on them.

No: you're allowing users to decide "Yes" or "No". You are abstaining from forcing users to void your decision and replace it with their own.

That argument that unchecked boxes are coercive is like saying that not raping a woman is forcing on her the decision to not be raped, so it's just as brutal to not rape her as to rape her. Both acts are aggressive. What a pile of you know what!

I'll post a more in-depth article on this pre-selection topic over at my web usability blog, Vaspers the Grate.

But the lesson for all marketers and sales professionals is this: never bully or try to trick any customer into opting into something they don't really want or don't give their fully informed consent to.

I suspect that some unscrupulous marketers advocate the pre-selection of checkboxes in the hopes that users, who are nearly always impatient, inattentive to fine details, and in a big hurry, will not notice these pre-selections.

They hope some users will end up getting items or signing up for what the marketers want to push on them, rather than what the users knowingly opt in for.

Con artistry, manipulation, scamming, ripping off, lying, deceiving, misinforming, bullying, tricking, taking advantage of people is always wrong.

Unethical business practice is a guaranteed way to be miserable, to lose money, to ruin a company, to generate bad word of mouth, to turn public opinion against you, to acquire a lousy reputation, to attract negative forces into your life.

This is not "mystical" or idealistic or religious.

The Golden Rule: it's a proverbial, pragmatic truth that has been on the lips of the wise for millenia.

Treat others with respect, compassion, and truth.

Is Your Marketing a Corpse Flower?

2004-10-16T02:03:00.000-07:00

Photo credit: Claire Ehrlinger, Quail Botanical Gardens.

***

University of California, Davis

***

from an article by
John Pickrell in England
for National Geographic News
July 18, 2003

"A flower taller than a man, stinking strongly of putrefying roadkill and colored deep burgundy to mimic rotting flesh, sounds like something from a low-budget science fiction movie. But Indonesia's titan arum—or "corpse flower," as known by locals—is a real, if rare, phenomenon, pollinated in the wild by carrion-seeking insects.

But corpse flowers are not only found in the wild and many have bloomed in recent years in botanical gardens worldwide from England to Arizona."

[Also see other National Geographic articles on the "stinky flower" and weird plants.]

Is your marketing a corpse flower?

Does it smell of rotting flesh, decaying substances, putrid decomposition?

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be gross, vulgar, or obnoxious. This is probably the strangest post you'll ever read on this site. But at least it will get your attention.

Let's face it: some marketing programs get you nowhere. They seem dead. Useless.

Some marketing fails to emphasize the one strong point that differentiates a company or product from the competition.

It uses "we-oriented" corporate fluff talk. "We (blah blah blah)...our products are (blah blah blah)...our expertise is (blah blah blah)."

It fails to provide photos of the product in use by people as they solve a problem, gain a benefit, or enhance their life.

It fails to provide complete, easy to understand details, complete lists of features accompanied by strong, desirable benefits of each feature.

It fails to clearly identify who the product is made for and why this type of user needs it right now.

It fails to explain powerfully how the product is honestly superior to competitive brands (if this is indeed true, not hype).

It fails to provide all the information the customer needs to decide which model, size, color, options, etc. best suited to their individual needs.

It assumes that customers already know certain things they may not know at all.

It has an arrogant, strident, hard-sell, old-fashioned "push the product on the customer" tone.

It consists of a web site constructed by someone's daughter as a college project, copy written by someone who knows what they want to say, but not how to say it as a professional copywriter, and art that is boring, building-oriented, or full of generic smiling people who are obviously stock images and not real personnel or real customers.

It fails to use satisfied customer testimonials or pretigious endorsements.

It fails to use 100% money back guarantees, limited time offers, or discount deadlines.

It fails to provide incentives for customers to refer friends and relatives.

It has reluctant, half-hearted, outsourced, impersonal, inept customer service, thus no sense of customer loyalty or word of mouth advertising power.

It's out of touch with dynamic business blogs and highly interactive web sites as marketing tools. It has no user-community building apparatus.

It's a big stinking Corpse Flower.

So everybody has to try harder. The sales staff, business process workers, customer service, dealers and distributors, advertising agency--everybody has to double their efforts, as they drag around a cadaver.

The corpse flower, stinky flower, devil's tongue, rotten flesh flower, or whatever it may be called, hides underground in a storage tuber and arises from its sepulchre once every one to three years.

It blooms, around midnight, for only 48 hours, then collapses again. While it's in blossom, it send out its hideous stench in undulating waves that alternate from the smell of dying elephant to rotten eggs.

The amorphophallus titanum stink flower attracts those creature that enjoy feasting on, and laying eggs in, decomposing carrion. Flies, carrion beetles, etc.

Heralded as the world's largest and stinkiest plant, it can grow up to 12 feet tall.

I first heard of these things on the disreputable Art Bell radio program about 10 years ago. I thought it was a hoax. It's not. These things exist. Nature is not exclusively beautiful, peaceful, and nice smelling. There are some real horrors and stinkers out there.

Similarly, all the flowers springing up in the garden of marketing are not pretty and pleasingly fragrant.

You must elevate your vision and seek marketing strategies that are living, in touch with how people really think. Mentally Correct.

If you're slogging along with mediocre, schlocky promotional material that doesn't do justice to your products, that keeps your business from growing vigorously, consider the root of the problem.

Maybe you need to dig up the stinky, sluggish, slop-bucket marketing "plants" and replace them with beautiful, professional, prestige marketing "flowers".

Step up to the bright light of living, real, vibrant Mentally Correct Marketing.

Derrida documentary film

2004-10-12T15:12:00.000-07:00

Rent it at Blockbuster or other film rental outlet.

***

Yes, according to the description
at the Blockbuster.com web site,
in this film, Jacques Derrida
does indeed "deconstruct himself",
that is, analyzes his own
previous interviews.

Here it is folks, Jacques Derrida
in his own words. The leading,
and perhaps most controversial
philosopher, of the 20th Century.

Did Derrida really say
there is no "absolute truth"?

Well, I know that when asked
about O.J. Simpson, Derrida
simply said that only O.J.
knows for sure if O.J. is
guilty or innocent.

That's all he said, at least
in the press statement I read.

And that paragraph above
illustrates how Derrida claimed
that "truth", as used in philosophy
at any rate, depends greatly on
the intersections of various texts
and their contexts.

It is true that that is all
Derrida said about O.J. Simpson
...in that particular moment,
according to that particular report,
by that particular journalist.

Derrida may have said many other
things regarding O.J. Simpson.
I don't know.

This is very different from
saying "there is no absolute truth."

O.J. absolutely did...
or did not...
kill that woman.

Bill Clinton absolutely did...
or did not...
"have sex with that woman."

The definition of "is" is "is"!

"Is" was "is", will be "is",
and is "is". Okay?

How does all this affect
Mentally Correct Marketing?

Derrida's analysis has major
benefits for marketing strategy
and advertising critiques.

Once you follow Derrida as he
uses, say, Freud against Freud
(as one example of
"text against text"),

showing how all textual empires
crumble from hidden flaws,
contradictions and inconsistencies,

it's easier to deconstruct a
mundane television commercial.

I love Derrida's books, and I
will soon view this
documentary film.

Though I may not agree with
all Derrida's opinions,
I do admire his analytical
methodology, the choices he
made for philosophical texts
to rigorously examine and
critique, and just the writing
style he employs.

Just check out my Derrida quote
and my commentary on it over at
my Vaspers the Grate blog,
the article "Blogs as
Deconstructionist Monsters."

What Derrida says about
new forms of art, new media,
new anything being typically
perceived, at first, as
"monstrosities" is funny,
yet sadly accurate.

Derrida, the most difficult writer
I've ever read (with the possible
exception of Jacques Lacan), and yet,
at the same time, my favorite author
of all time (with the possible
exception of Proust).

We miss you JD.

Death is itself going
to be deconstructed
[if you know what I mean].

2004-10-12T01:05:00.000-07:00

goodbye JD

Beheading Videos: Poor Usability

2004-10-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

Terrorist "marketing" strategy is off target.
***

I think it's time someone stood up
and proclaimed the Triumphant Truth:

Beheading is not
what it's cracked up to be.

"Gruesome" is not the word for it.

"Pathetic"/"Misguided"/"Cowardly"/
"Ridiculously Underwhelming"
are much more appropriate words for
this desperate attempt by terrorists
to gain attention.

All beheading accomplishes is loathing,
and longing for more "shock and awe"
bombing of all nations that harbor
such timid and ineffectual villains.

DISCLAIMER #1: I have not
viewed any terrorist beheading videos, nor
will I ever do so.

However, I will, from a usability
perspective, engage in a critique
of this concept: beheading a person,
videotaping the process, releasing
the video to the public via web sites
and media coverage, and making
unreasonable demands based on
such vain nonsense.

DISCLAIMER #2: I mean no offense
to the families and friends of the victims of
terrorist beheadings.

I sympathize with their suffering and grief.

This analysis is my way of supporting them.

This analysis rightfully mocks the
ineffectiveness and futility of such
terrorist activity, which merely angers
us, and does not "shock" or "terrify"
us at all, in spite of what mainline
establishment journalists announce.

Dual Usability Factors:

Usability has a dual nature.
For a promotional or public
relations effort to be useful,
in a comprehensive sense,
it must accomplish two goals:

1. Influence the audience (the supposedly
"terrorized") to be sympathetic toward
(or frightened into groveling acceptance
of) the sponsoring organization's
(the "terrorists") goals, and decide
to support these goals, or
exert pressure on those who can.

2. Enable the sponsoring organization (the
"terrorists") to communicate an accurate,
motivational message to the audience about
the sponsoring organization (the "terrorists"),
to the end that this message is clearly
understood and endorsed by the audience.

Terrorist Beheading Videos
Exhibit Poor Usability:

1. Negative Message About the Terrorists:

The terrorists display themselves as cowards
with their faces covered up.

Like bullies on a school playground,
they represent themselves
as picking on weak, easy prey,
unarmed and unguarded civilians.

These civilians are then executed by way of
beheading, which is a relatively quick and
painless death (compared to many cancers
and other diseases and fatal injuries).

Civilians expiring in such manner should be
awarded Congressional Medals of Honor and be
celebrated as noble, involuntary martyrs for
freedom of thought and freedom of religion.

2. Undesired Response from Audience:

The results of terrorist beheading videos are:

(a) governments become more stubborn about their
refusal to negotiate with terrorists,

(b) the families of the victims hate the
terrorists and their cause,

(c) the general public is disgusted
with the terrorist tactics and
condemns their cause.

3. Wrong Tactic by Terrorists:

While it may be shameful to admit this point,
it must nevertheless be stated:
Americans in particular have
no strong aversion to gratuitous
violence, suffering, or gore.

Sorry, terrorists.

A beheading simply is not "gruesome" or
"repulsive" when considered in the context
of the standard entertainment fare of average
American teenagers or college age males.

The act itself is morally reprehensible,
and the terrorists are to be condemned for
such an act, but its effect is greatly
diminished in Western culture.

We avidly flock to R-rated, ultra-violent films.

We abundantly produce and purchase sadistic,
ultra-violent video games.

We gleefully watch the gross
"Fear Factor" reality TV program.

4. Wrong User Interface:

The people who are most affected by a terrorist
beheading video are the friends and families of
the unfortunate victims. But the video provides
no means for this segment of the public to
interact with the demands of the terrorists.

Individuals have very little influence on
governments or national policy makers.
Even the companies the individuals work for
are in no strong position to assist the
terrorists or influence their governments.

CONCLUSION
Message to Mainstream News Media
and Journalists:

Get with it. Terrorist beheading videos, and
news reports glamorizing or sensationalizing
such acts, are not influencing us at all.

The beheadings are not "gruesome" or
"alarming." For jaded American audiences,
they're not even "disturbing."

Quit trying to impress us with video
productions made by our enemies.

Quit subtly promoting such things
for their supposed "news value."

Genocide in the Sudan, North Korean nuclear
weapons development, partisan bias in
mainstream journalism--now these are
truly upsetting and horrific.

Earthlink Scores Big: TV, Web, Core Values

2004-10-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

Earthlink Woman w/Orbiting Globular Object

***

Here's a rare commodity:
a corporation that scores
big marketing and ethics points
in three major areas--

* TV commercial

* Web site

* Core Beliefs & Values

I just got blown away by the new
Earthlink television commercial.

Two women at kitchen table talking.
Woman A is criticizing Woman B.
"The other ladies are concerned about you."
Catty complaining over coffee.

Woman B has a "dangerous looking"
ball or globe or whatever (see photo)
orbiting, circling around, her head.

This is science fiction, avant garde
advertising at its best, and it also
conveys, in a remarkably memorable manner,
desirable benefits and problem solving aspects
of the product: Earthlink ISP
(Internet Service Provider).

I have seen this TV commercial only once,
but I have one strong impression in my mind:
the orbiting mini-planet is not dangerous,
but Identity Theft is, and Earthlink has
something that can prevent this crime
from being foisted on you.

I honestly don't recall much more.

But that's not bad for seeing just it once.

I remember their company name.
I remember their product.
I remember their logo (orbit & woman).
I remember one or two product benefits.
I remember their creativity.
I remember their innovation.

I remember their "rebelliousness"
(the woman with the orbiting globe
seems "different" but secure and
confident, asserting her secret.)

I crave a repeat viewing of this commercial.

I have a video cassette ready in my VCR
so I can record it and study it in
greater detail. It's bizarre.

Earthlink entertains me, shocks me,
amuses me, informs me, impresses me
pleases me with this new TV commercial.

So I went to their web site.

(For a more detailed review,
check Vaspers the Grate.
Soon I will have a brief
analysis of their site:

www.earthlink.net)

Earthlink Web Site comments:

A wonderful "About Earthlink" page,
with a wide range of sub-categories
such as:

* Subscriber Benefits
* Our History
* Contact Us
* Investor Relations
* Our Leadership
* Awards
* Global Internet Alliance
* Policies & Agreements
* Refer a Friend
* Press Room

...and more.

Under "Our History" I found:

******************************

Core Values & Beliefs

What's important at EarthLink?

We are convinced that the key
to creating a truly great
organization is an intense
focus on the values that
guide its people's actions.

These are EarthLink's
"Core Values and Beliefs".

If we don't seem to be
living up to them, call us on it!

We respect the individual, and
believe that individuals who are treated
with respect and given responsibility
respond by giving their best.

We require complete honesty and
integrity in everything we do.

We make commitments with care,
and then live up to them.

In all things, we do what
we say we are going to do.

Work is an important part of life,
and it should be fun.

Being a good businessperson does not
mean being stuffy and boring.

We love to compete, and we believe that
competition brings out the best in us.

We are frugal. We guard and conserve
the company's resources with at least
the same vigilance that we would use to
guard and conserve our own personal resources.

We insist on giving our best effort in
everything we undertake.

Furthermore, we see a huge difference
between "good mistakes"
(best effort, bad result)
and "bad mistakes"
(sloppiness or lack of effort).

Clarity in understanding our mission,
our goals, and what we expect from
each other is critical to our success.

We are believers in the Golden Rule.

In all our dealings we will strive to
be friendly and courteous, as well as
fair and compassionate.

We feel a sense of urgency on any matters
related to our customers.

We own problems and we are always responsive.

We are customer-driven.

******************************

I don't use Earthlink, and don't plan to.

I'm happy with my current ISP.

But if I ever become dissatisfied,

I'll start satelliting around their planet

to discover more realms within Earthlink.

Thanks for the user-friendliness, Earthlink!

Streight Eye for the Dairy Queen Guy

2004-10-01T01:59:00.000-07:00

DQ logo with my recommended slogan added.

***

I can't hardly believe the bad news about Dairy Queen.

I'll try to be civil, generous, and diplomatic.

Oh, flap a banana at a flop boat, I just can't be kind about this.

Thanks to Katherine Stone over at the blog Decent Marketing for this story.

In her blog, Ms. Stone refers to a Brand Channel.com article about Dairy Queen seeking a whole new look and marketing platform.

Michael Keller, Executive VP, Marketing and R&D, International Dairy Queen (IDQ) says that by turning Dairy Queens into Grill & Chills, with upscale menus, special viewable ovens, and a (disconcerting) "take a number and wait for the food to be delivered to your table" service:

"...it's clear this isn't your father's Dairy Queen..."

And he goes on to say it also isn't a standard QSR (Quick Service Restaurant) otherwise more clearly known to the discerning public as a FFJ (Fast Food Joint).

He also suggests that "Dairy" and "Queen" are not "food friendly" terms.

Mr. Keller admits that Dairy Queen is most famous for its Peanut Buster Parfaits, Dilly Bars, and Pecan Mudslides.

STREIGHT MARKETING CRITIQUE:

This is, in my quick, gut-reaction assessment, marketing suicide.

An established, well-liked company should emphasize what it's famous for, not destroy it.

Take what the public already likes about you, and think of new, creatively fresh ways to maintain that heavily promoted, highly financed position. Ever heard of "legacy"? Apparently not.

So many companies are ruining their brand by deviating from a solid position, in favor of some wild and reckless "new, more contemporary" hype-mongering.

Mentally Correct Marketing is very similar to the Ries Doctrine of Positioning: take the established mind-set and enhance it.

Why trash a good position?

Why try to change what customers already love about you?

Why try to force people to think about you in a completely new and different way?

Is your old, traditional marketing angle so rotten and worthless you have to throw it in the garbage? I doubt it.

I think this is Panic Marketing.

Too many old-fashioned, reliable, nostalgic things are passing away. Now we have to add "your father's Dairy Queen" to that poignant list? Please tell me this is just a nightmare and not true life.

I repeat: take what is already good, and enhance it.

This is why I, after thinking about it for 5 seconds, came up with the proposed Mentally Correct Marketing slogan:

"Dairy Queen. Where the food is now as tempting as the dessert."

If Dairy Queen paid me, I'd spend more time trying to resolve their marketing "dilemma" and maybe be lucky enought to come up with even better slogans and marketing ideas.

But for now, this is my answer.

Capture Attention-Command Action

2004-09-29T23:16:00.000-07:00

Two sides of your marketing coin.

You use creativity
to capture attention,
communicate benefits,
convey the product functions
and features that make
these benefits occur...

...then use responsivity
to command or coax customers
into acting on your offer.

Responsivity elements include:

* limited time urgency
* free samples
* satisfied customer testimonials
* money-back guarantee
* reply deadline
* bonus gift
* reputable referrals
* trial use period
* upfront credentials
* credibility characteristics
* prestige indications
* easy to use reply functionalities

...but don't forget that "call to action."

Thus...

For specific solutions to your
marketing problems...

Contact via email: steven DOT streight AT gmail DOT com

Do it right now...while you're thinking about it.

Psychologically Unsound 15 Second Sitcoms

2004-09-29T21:58:00.000-07:00

Ads That Simply Entertain Are A Waste of Money

We've all seen them.

Television commerical ads that seem like 15 second sitcoms.

A recent large airline company commercial shows a black guy trying to remember his new son-in-law's name, he thinks it starts with a "B." His wife, who, being a woman, is supposedly better at remembering family type stuff, keeps saying "No" to his guesses as they make their way to the airplane.

Finally, somehow, an airline ticket taker, also female, says (is she a psychic?) the correct name.

Maybe I need to see this again to understand how the ticket taker knew the name.

But no matter how many times I view this commercial, I'll never arrive at a good reason to use American Airlines, or whatever the airline was. Even that fact is fuzzy in my mind.

So many television commercials, radio spots, and print ads are pulling similar shenanigans, and some poor sap is signing off on them. Some dumb corporate advertising manager is thinking they got their money's worth. Now, that's a real joke.

Listen up people: this is lame, idiotic, ineffectual advertising.

I'm being harsh here for a reason.

It's not funny that terrorists used commercial airlines to attack the United States. It's not funny that some major airlines are facing possible bankruptcy. It's not funny that customers have to go through wearisome security checks. It's not funny that some customers are humiliated during security checks. It's not funny that bombs and guns and knives still slip past security checks. It's not funny that armed air marshalls may be required on board.

So why try to make light humor of boarding a plane. You do not see the couple, in this commercial, going through any security checks. Not that you must show this, but to instead show the guy trying to remember his new son-in-law's name? This is pathetic nonsensical advertising, and it happens all the time on television.

You may be able to make a micro-sitcom commercial work, I mean, make it create a powerful impression of why I should choose your product or service over all your competitors.

But I can't recall any recently that were successful from a Mentally Correct Marketing standpoint.

THEREFORE: if you want me to laugh, make a commercial that causes me to laugh at people who don't use your product, so I feel justified and smart when I buy it.

It's A Dark World We Live In...

2004-09-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

Rathergate: deconstructive analysis of the "apology"

2004-09-29T00:14:00.000-07:00

Rathergate Man

FIRST KNOW THIS: Streight Site Systems is aggressively non-partisan. We favor no political party and no candidate. Liberals and conservatives are equally suspicious to us.

RATIONALE: CBS and other Mainstream Media journalists have launched vicious attacks on Citizen Blogger Journalists ("J-Bloggers"). Such anti-democratic, elitist nonsense will be gleefully commented upon in this forum.

J-BLOGGERS: You also need to shape up. Please always include hypertext links in your posts, so readers can link directly to sources of quotes and news reports. Don't assume that everyone knows where they are found.

For a full account of Rathergate and why our democratic institutions are threatened by his arrogance, please refer to Kathleen Parker of The Union Leader newspaper.

THE APOLOGY:

(CBS) Below is the text of CBS News Anchor Dan Rather's statement on the documents purportedly written by President Bush's National Guard commander:

"Last week, amid increasing questions about the authenticity of documents used in support of a "60 Minutes Wednesday" story about President Bush's time in the Texas Air National Guard, CBS News vowed to re-examine the documents in question-and their source-vigorously.

And we promised that we would let the American public know what this examination turned up, whatever the outcome.

Now, after extensive additional interviews, I no longer have the confidence in these documents that would allow us to continue vouching for them journalistically. I find we have been misled on the key question of how our source for the documents came into possession of these papers.

That, combined with some of the questions that have been raised in public and in the press, leads me to a point where-if I knew then what I know now-I would not have gone ahead with the story as it was aired, and I certainly would not have used the documents in question.

But we did use the documents.

We made a mistake in judgment, and for that I am sorry.

It was an error that was made, however, in good faith and in the spirit of trying to carry on a CBS News tradition of investigative reporting without fear or favoritism.

Please know that nothing is more important to us than people's trust in our ability and our commitment to report fairly and truthfully."

DECONSTRUCTIVE ANALYSIS:

1. "I find WE have been misled":
failure to accept personal responsibility.

2. "questions that have been raised in
the public and in the press":
how about the blogosphere, your nemesis?
Conveniently left them out.

3. "vouching for them journalistically":
you mean you would vouch for them
personally, the contents are true,
but the documents are fake?
it's only "journalistically"
that you find them coming up short?

4. "if I knew then what I know now":
but you should have "known then" what
you "know now"--that's your job as a journalist.

5. "But WE did use the documents.
WE made a mistake in judgment":
failure to accept personal responsibility.

6. "error was made in good faith":
this makes the error, the sloppy journalism,
any less serious and troubling?

7. "investigative reporting without fear or favoritism":
yet no apology to the Bush campaign, to Bush himself,
to the American voters, to the world? how is this stubborn
arrogance and attempt to cover up not "fear or favoritism"?

CONCLUSION: There are many blog campaigns to force CBS to fire or retire Dan Rather, who would rather deny that he has a political ax to grind, and who is possibly guilty of trying to illegally influence national elections, which is a federal crime. When the mainstream media attack bloggers, we fight back.

(More on blogs as deconstructionist monsters at Vaspers the Grate site.)

Mentally Correct Product Promo Priorities

2004-09-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

MentCorrMar promos

Product Promotion Priorities:

1. Mind wants to get rid of problems.
(Your product solves them.)

BUT...if mind sees no pressing problems...

2. Mind wants to accumulate benefits.
(Your product provides them.)

BUT...if mind is satiated with benefits...

3. Mind wants to enhance life.
(Your product offers improvement.)

BUT...if mind sees no room for progress...

4. Mind wants to make money.
(Your product increases income.)

BUT...if mind has more money than it can use...

5. Mind wants to reduce costs.
(Your product economizes, controls waste.)

BUT...if mind sees super-abundance not threatened by leaking...

6. Mind wants to generate good will.
(Your product causes admiration.)

BECAUSE...mind can never have enough love.

2004-09-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

MC vs. PU copywriting

2004-09-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

MC vs. PU marketing

Mentally Correct Marketing begins with:

"What do customers for
a product like this
want the product to do?"

"What do competitive products
fail to do for the customer?"

"What can honestly be said
about this product
that we haven't said yet,
but is a powerful benefit?"

Psychologically Unsound Marketing
cares only about seducing customers
and often goes about this clumsily,
due to the hurry to make easy profit.

Mentally Correct Marketing
is peaceful and compassionate,
and recognizes how the mind works.

It works with the mind, not against it.

MENTAL DARKNESS

Mind is repulsed by deception.
Mind is depressed by ugliness.
Mind is angered by contradiction.
Mind is dulled by repetition.
Mind is diminished by ignorance.
Mind is de-motivated by chaos.
Mind is disrupted by distractions.

MENTAL ILLUMINATION

Mind is delighted with truth.
Mind is charmed by beauty.
Mind is attracted to logic.
Mind is refreshed by variety.
Mind is excited by genius.
Mind is thrilled by triumph over obstacles.
Mind is energized by newness.

The Four Corners of Your Marketing World

2004-09-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

Turn to us for marketing solutions.

You use ideas.
You use strategies.
You use words.
You use images.

You do your marketing.

Nothing happens the way
you want it to.

Using the wrong ideas?
Using the wrong strategies?
Using the wrong words?
Using the wrong images?

Maybe we can help.

Contact via email: astreight AT msn DOT com

(That's the spam prevention method of rendering email address.)

Also see: www.vaspersthegrate.blogspot.com

Problem Solving Products defeat heavily promoted junk.

2004-09-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

User-driven vs. Hype-driven

Posted by Hello

User-driven Problem Solvers
are ethical products that
seriously attempt to help
people or to enhance their lives.

Hype-driven Profit Makers
are "take the money and run"
products that are promoted
just to make a fast buck
off unsuspecting suckers.

User-driven Problem Solvers
need to be accompanied by
extremely good service
and money-back guarantees.

Hype-driven Profit Makers
tend to provide grudging service
and that's often offshore outsourced.

Mentally Correct Marketing is...

2004-09-23T01:39:00.000-07:00

Oprah Hawk Show Host

2004-09-18T01:08:00.000-07:00

Oprah has gone from
talk show host to
hawk show host,
according to the
Chicago Sun Times.

They compare her egomaniacal
theatrics and audience hysteria
to the old television program,
"Queen for a Day"...

wherein materialistic,
discontented housewives
would present dreary, hard luck tales
in exchange for shiny new
kitchen gadgets & appliances.

When you go to Oprah's web site,
www.oprah.com
you will see nothing about her
grandiose car giveaway stunt,

until you go down to the bottom
of the homepage. There, in a
text link (no photo) is a sentence:

"We made dreams come true!
Cars for everyone. Watch!"

This desperate act of mentally
incorrect marketing was done
to bolster her sagging viewership.

MotorTrend reminds us that Oprah's
"My Favorite Things" giveaway
was spoofed on Saturday Night Live.

They also said that Jonathon Gray,
at the University of California, Berkeley
warns that these stunts could cause people
to think that charity requires sponsors
and he warns that these stunts just drive
people to consume more products.

Consider these facts and observations:

* Occurs during Oprah's 19th season premiere.

* Pontiac G6 model, not yet in showrooms.

* 276 audience members, selected due to
alleged "need for an automobile."

* In one hour, the Pontiac G6
dominates conversations.

* Oprah has never had a
homeless people audience.

* The Oprah show is now like
a game show without a game,
but with plenty of prizes.

* The success of this show depends
largely on how much longer viewers
will tolerate a vicarious thrill seeing
others walk off with gifts they may
not really need or deserve.

* Oprah is using "makeovers"
and "giveaways" to
promote her own brand
and increase her popularity,

this is not true, selfless
altruism or philanthropy.

* Oprah seems to have an
insatiable craving to be admired.

* On the Fast Company Now blog,
commenter "Urijah" said Oprah
never pulls a single penny out of her pocket,
it's the sponsors and advertising agencies
that provide the merchandise, whilst Bill Gates
makes pledges of $3 billion to charitable causes.

* The Chicago Sun Times explains how Pontiac
is the real winner, getting free plugs in all major
media, for nothing, just from a $8 million cost
on the cars that were given away on Oprah's show.

DISMAL CONCLUSION:

CNN.com reports on how Oprah
jumped up and down on the stage
yelling: "Everybody gets a car.
Everybody gets a car. Everybody gets a car."

Like with many televangelists
and professional religious figures,

the attention and glory is not given
to the true source of the blessings or gifts,

but to the vain one who struts around
bestowing it upon the adoring crowds.

Rational Capitalism vs. Psycho Capitalism

2004-09-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

Posted by Hello

Psycho Capitalism focuses on how to gain more sales of questionable or malevolent products,
and provides grudging, unsatisfying service.

Rational capitalism
focuses on how to
better serve customers
with improved products
and enhanced service.

User interaction with the product = user mirror.

2004-09-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

mirror of user reality vs. blank wall of marketing guesswork

Customer Service IS a Profit Center

2004-09-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

***
(Seth Godin's customer service problems ,
and the offshore outsourcing warning
in the Federal Times, were the
inspiration for this one.)

Have you heard the new joke?
It's enough to make me choke.
"Customer service is never
a true profit center."

So...is customer dis-service a profit center?
Is customer disloyalty good for business ever?
Tell me, does that bad word of mouth
make profits head north...or head south?

Now listen up.
I'm only going to say this once:
Now listen up.
Don't be a foolish dunce.

Customer service IS a profit center.
Direct marketers have known this forever.
Good customer service
may consume more time,
but those who don't have it
are low forms of slime.

Let's skip the poetic rhymes
and get serious now.

It's possible to track
the fiscal effects of
poor customer service
vs. good customer service.

You don't receive a check
every time you provide
a service to a customer,
they don't pay for it usually.

But this doesn't mean
customer service is a loss,
a money-loser, unprofitable.

Each good service you give,
you gain a vote and a voice.

A vote from the customer
a vote of confidence
a vote of satisfaction
a vote of loyalty
a vote for continued purchasing.

A voice of the customer,
proclaiming your virtues,
encouraging others to try your product,
cheering you on to victory
over your competitors .

Customer service is profitable.
Customer service is an expected
feature included with the product,
like a owner's manual or warranty.

It's not something reluctantly
thrown in as a bonus.
It's not a peripheral issue.

Ever stop going to a restaurant,
not because the food was bad,
but because of poor service?

Companies that shove
customer service off on
incompetent, unconcerned
outsource providers...they anger me.

Dumb ass, ask your
marketing department
if "customer service"
is a fringe detail of a product.

Dumb ass, your competitors will
take good care of your customers
if you refuse to do so.

You think corporate profit
is a "numbers game"?
Just sell as many products to
as many people as possible,
and leave it at that?

Just sell it, then move on
to the next sucker?
Once they've bought it,
they're stuck with it?

Your big budget advertising
will reach more people
than the bad word of mouth
of dissatisfied customers?

Customer service as a
grudging add-on,
are you kidding?

That's like courting a woman
lavishly, then beating her up
once you've got a wedding ring
on her finger.

Idiotic. Sadistic. Amateur.

Relegating customer service
to a low priority
is the mark of advancing
suicidal insanity.

Offshore outsourcing
of customer service
and the service personnel
can barely speak English,
and they're happy with
$1.30 a day, since it's
"much more than what
other jobs in that country pay."

Companies think
they're saving money?
They're losing customers,
but saving money?
They're defiling their brand,
but saving money?
Creating a negative mental profile
in the minds of the public,
but saving money?

The outsourcing "logic" is:

your in-house staff is careless,
they don't check references,
they mis-place files,
they aren't detail-oriented,
they resist new procedures,
they're too comfortable,
they're not dedicated,
they don't take their work seriously...

But total strangers who know nothing
about your business or customer base...

...your sensitive information:
employee records,
medical data, encryption codes,
and network security...

are in good hands with them...??????

Yeah, right.

Go "save a lot of money" all you want.

I'll be laughing along with your competitors.

You're "saving a lot of money" while
you're losing a lot of customers.

Poor service kills great products,

and "mind-blowing advertising"
during the Super Bowl,

or "awesome giveaways"
on the Oprah Winfrey show,

won't save them from
the spreading sickness
of poor service and
bad post-sale attitudes.

"The customer is always right,
so just put her on hold.
Eventually she'll get exasperated
and hang up." = corporate greed-psychosis.

Martha Stewart & Mentally Correct Marketing

2004-09-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

Martha Stewart needs a strong,
but ultimately refreshing dose
of Mentally Correct Marketing.

When will celebrities, hot shots,
and smarty pants ever learn?

Here's how the human mind works:

1. People who do something wrong
should admit it.

2. People who don't admit it
seem like liars, con artists, egomaniacs.

3. People who persist in framing everything
in pretty doilies,
when more appropriate would be
a wreath of thorns,
are not respected or trusted.
Nor are they given sympathy.

4. People who feel like they're being
railroaded into punishment,
when they're actually innocent,
should quit whining
and acting magnanimous
about getting their just desserts.

5. People who are truly innocent
are usually better off
being humble, self-effacing,
patient, and even silent.
Jesus displayed these
qualities when being accused
and led to his unwarranted death.

6. Martha Stewart is using
image-centric marketing:
preserve the original image,
with no concessions, at all costs.

7. Image-centric marketing is
for losers, unethical CEOS,
and desperados.

Invasion of the Bloggers

2004-09-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

"Beautiful bloggers, boldly
lashing out against frauds,
against tyranny,
against false gods...

Beautiful bloggers, told me
how to market me,
how to email free,
how to embark on
a blogging spree..."

Some lyrics to a
new hit song
in the radio
of my heart.

Yes, blogging really is
the next big thing.
Blogs distribute hot news,
URL discoveries,
personal, educated opinions.

Ignore the blah blah blah plogs,
the P [ersonal drivel web] LOGS,
filled with boring, egocentric trivia.

Turn toward the phlog blogs:
PH [ilosophical web] LOGS
filled with profound, user-centric treasures.

Soon, we will all get most of our
news, how-to tips, gossip,
web site recommendations,
technical help, encouragement,
spiritual illumination, even
inter-personal fellowship...

...from blogs. Blogs that act
as antidotes to the controlled media,
as remedies to the poisoned churches,
as refreshing relief from elitist cliques,
as answer machines seeking truth.

Mirror of User Reality

2004-09-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

Everything you think you know
about your product, service, or organization
is a ridiculous lie. Every idea is wrong.
Until...envisioned and reflected
in the Mirror of User Reality.

The Mirror of User Reality.
The Truth of Product Viability.
The Fact of Service Functionality.
The Knowable Fragment of the Actionable Marketing Universe.

Nothing is "true" or "real" or "objectively actual"
until you observe, non-invasively, even secretly if possible,
typical users operating your product
or accessing your service
or interacting with your personnel.

The Mirror of User Reality.

Everything else is meaningless garbage.

What's a "Benefit"?

2004-09-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

***

As marketing consultants, we constantly proclaim:

"Tell customers what benefits the product provides."

"Explain how those features result in specific benefits to the customer."

"Put the biggest, most desired benefit of the product in the headline."

And clients sometimes ask: "What do you mean? What's a benefit?"

***

Okay. Here's a partially redundant
catalogue of what a benefit is:

...a good result that occurs
when you use the product
(e.g. products that only help
when we activate them)

...a nice thing that happens
because you have the product
(e.g. products that work
without our operation: a vaccine)

...the practical purpose of the product's existence

...what makes an item a buyable product,
rather than an object of useless curiosity
or callous indifference

...what, without the product, is accomplished
with much more effort, time, or expense

...the desired effect of a product feature

...what a product function must produce

...what causes a product to be liked by customers

...the reason why the customer buys the product

...what each product feature must be translated into,
when describing the product to customers

...what all promotional material must emphasize

...what every headline must contain

...what draws customers toward you...
or toward your competitors

...what all innovations strive to accomplish
in a new way, or for new customer segments.

Simplicity Shall Prevail

2004-09-11T02:45:00.000-07:00

***

This is the official blog
of Streight Site Systems.

***

Not a chatty blog

where I try to be witty...

...and you post comments

praising or criticizing me.

***

This is a demonstration

of minimalistic marketing.

***

In this blog of business poetry,

simplicity shall prevail.

***

You'll receive good ideas

as easily as opening your eyes

and

faster than the speed of thought.

***

"Mentally Correct Marketing"

Welcome to it.

Mentally Correct Marketing #01

2004-09-10T22:36:00.000-07:00

***
Mentally Correct Marketing.

Means knowing how the mind works.

Then developing promotional material.

That satisfies and delights the mind.

So customers enjoy reading or hearing or seeing it.

That's all. But that's enough.

Faster Than Thought

2004-09-10T01:40:00.000-07:00

***
Your message must be

faster
than
thought.

You must grab

the attention
of the customer.

Then...

tell them what they
need to know...

in language
they'll understand...

about how your product
will benefit them

with a benefit they
desire
very much.